Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
slayerdme 0
Why would you even smoke in the first place? Think you're cool huh?
trilingualotaku 0
ydi for 2 reasons. 1=bad hiding spot. 2=for lying. ... have a nice day :D
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Comments (273)
idiotgirl 0
YDI for lying. I won't blame you for smoking, I don't like i myself but it's your choice and everyone does things that are bad for them these days anyway. Smoking's hard to hide, and chances are you dad found out already and was just seeing how much he could trust you. You'd have gotten in less trouble if you told the truth, now your dad will be more angry at you for lying.
bob1233 0
You ******* deserve it for lying.
diabetic_rage 0
YDI for being a lying idiot and for smoking.
Quiet_one 22
YDI for starting to smoke in a time when everyone knows how addictive and harmful they are. Also for giving a huge hypocritical speech and picking a crappy hiding spot. I don't see how this qualifies as an FML, considering that every part of it was completely and intentionally caused by you.
Yatta_fml 0
YDI for not only not telling the truth, but for trying to sound so high and mighty in your standpoint on smoking... YDI also for not hacingsome kind if backup plan like "those are my friends, I'm hiding them for them" ready to go.
lalaland94 0
karma is a bitch, and man did she act fast. have fun smoking those cancer sticks bud.
Yatta_fml 0
BTW, I don't understand how smokes are addictive, I smoke when I get drunk and that's the only time... No urge to do it any other time and let me say, if I DID ever get such a desire I'd ignore it. Get cancer? Spend a tin of miner doing it? Annoy everyone around me? No thanks.
Sharon_Cocks 2
You deserve it for just smoking cigarettes
realggirl 0
I clicked both. YDI for smoking but YLS because your dad has no right to go through your room and invade your privacy like that.
curryndricegirll 0
Yeah, and his son has no right to smoke in the house that his father is working to pay for and then kill him with his second hand smoke.
WthHappened 0
you're a dumbass