Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
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Top comments
gideeupp 9
Some things in life you can't un-see. This is one of them.
flockz 20
haha piece of wood? she was already being blinded by one.
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Comments (123)
mycookiezz 0
sounds sexy... lol
cyns0_oaSailor 0
Gay description of the word naked
genesisnirvana 11
Porno time :D
WCARlover 35
Wincest? Ew no nevermind I can't joke like that
RyanMacVey 17
huh?
Eaglestrike117 29
You can't get a chair to block the door when someone is in there? Or a piece of wood or something??
flockz 20
haha piece of wood? she was already being blinded by one.
Jvr91 8
What happened to knocking!
tatababe 1
Ugh that's must be disturbing
fanceh 10
you should have stared at him and finished vigorously, not even stopping to wipe.
FarSide 23
Just another day at Pinkie's house...
Pixxio_O 11
Maybe you two can hug it off? :D
YayorNay 8
Just flush, he'll be out in a instant.
PandaPi 0
Father daughter bonding time :)
ArapCheerleader 0
your dads a blonde
commietaco 0
yes.
Ghostkiller12345 9
And your stupid
tylersign 11
So? And 42, I enjoy your picture.
KiddNYC1O 22
56- Their stupid what?
ArapCheerleader 0
can't people on FML take a joke?
LordGoober 13
If it's a funny one that makes sense... Then yes :)
kei1108 13
Yes, we can. but you need to know that some types of jokes are offensive to people. but it's okay this time. I'm not really offended as long as you don't actually think that hair color is related to intelligence. But people don't exactly find dumb blonde jokes as funny anymore. Think ot it this way: Making fun of hair color is like making fun of skin color; it could be a joke, but not all jokes are funny. Thanks!
smexehXredhead0 0
You probably are, though.
gideeupp 9
Some things in life you can't un-see. This is one of them.
patebishop 7
thanks for stealing my comment
genesisnirvana 11
Another one? Walking in on your parents doing doggy style
patebishop 7
thanks for stealing my comment
patebishop 7
thanks
orangeduck 6
STF you stupid camel. She posted before you so technically you stole her comment.
patebishop 7
SHE stole it from ME. She edited her comment to be like mine because it was so brilliant.
Ghostkiller12345 9
patebishop It's weird I don't see yours anyway
Ghostkiller12345 9
patebishop It's weird I don't see yours anywhere
Brool_Story_Co 17
44- you claim someone stole your comment, as that comment was written before yours that is probably bullshit. Even if they did steal it, it's not a big deal. Stop bitching about and get on with your life.
Brool_Story_Co 17
57- Scroll down, comment #9.
gideeupp 9
I didn't know you could edit comments.. Thanks bud, but you were like a minute later than me. Sorry bout the luck.
je_suis_fml 11
are we seriously arguing about stolen comments? sheesh...
patebishop 7
why would you steal a comment? how stupid
gideeupp 9
No shit Sherlock. Mine was posted first.
meidel 5
Known from personal experience
SirMoose 0
I don't understand what's so bad... I mean it's family not a stranger, seeing each other naked shouldn't be a problem.
saIty 17
He has to take his shower at an exact time. Nothing will stop him, not even when you are relieving yourself.
lolololer 8
would her being in the shower stop him?
orangeduck 6
Well OP's father would have two choices: One: Blindfold himself, and avoid dropping the soap. Two: Die hard like Bruce Willis.
mcrluverchick 9
Haha this reminds me of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.
ChucktheNorris 0
Shield your eyes!
BADDiam 4
Chuck norris does not shield his eyes.
ChucktheNorris 0
You. Are. Correct.
eminemchick 19
well pat, it doesnt look like ur gonna shield your eyes anytime soon either
fadingfaith 4
What happened next? xD
kamikrazy 6
They minded their own business and she wiped while her dad took a shower. The End.
patebishop 7
some things in life can't be unseen and this is one example
catrav77 0
patebishop meet gideeupp. y'all will be great friends.
Xathanos 16
man needs to keep clean, seems like nothing will stop him..
hiyourcute 0
Your picture is extremely appropriate for the fml community (:
GiantEvilCookie 6
:(
bobbymullet 11
who screamed first?(:
abdullahfive 8
yeah,,,who did???