Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
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Top comments
vincas 0
Did you die? :D
bonestructure 0
That sucks, sorry.
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Comments (64)
bonestructure 0
That sucks, sorry.
emilysanftwsom 0
I agree, that sucks some major ass. Quit your job and find better workmates.
yougetmecloserto 0
Or alternatively, poison the ones you have.
KumoFF7 3
YDI for not chewing your food
Arcterion 0
Lolololol.
Tgump 0
Ouch, you need a new job.
JustMyLuck_huh 0
have you ever tried to get a new job in this economy? Atleast there two people that cared, maybe stupid but caring
Maxine17 8
Nice to know you have friends at work. FYL
trilingualotaku 0
what a couple of noobs. meh, now you know what they're like, i s'pose.
ydi_bitch 0
YDI for eating lunch
IceCubez 0
wow. trolls these days...
cucuto89 0
i'm guessing she dos deserve it for acting like a itch all the time and constantly complainingg about every little thing
oops122 0
Come on #7 seriously
blalien 0
#13, did you string that sentence together all by yourself?
Ranoona 0
wow I would have punched them . FYL
8KAGE8 8
In the break of choking, you would punch people who didn't help you..? Good luck with that...
fash 0
They need a First Aid refresher course. I assume one of them helped you eventually? Or did you just cough it back up?
vincas 0
Did you die? :D
bleh993 0
LOLOLOL
Darth_Taco 14
I'm so ashamed of myself, that made me laugh. OP, I got one for you. A few years ago I was hanging out with some friends. They said something funny and I started choking on my food. Fortunately, I know how to give myself the Heimlich maneuver because they kicked me out of the room and into the bathroom because they didn't want me to mess up the carpet >:(. By the way, you just bend over as far as possible and cough your hardest. You have to cough it a few times to get enough force.
sithwithashotgun 0
If you´re really choking, you can´t cough. Bending over and coughing forcefully isn´t going to do anything when you´re choking, because you can´t possibly do it.
xHaniffax 0
At least they didn't laugh at how ridiculous you looked as you were potentially choking to death....you see? there's a positive side to everything.