Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
slayerdme 0
Why would you even smoke in the first place? Think you're cool huh?
trilingualotaku 0
ydi for 2 reasons. 1=bad hiding spot. 2=for lying. ... have a nice day :D
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Comments (273)
raybury 2
Two hours earlier would have been one thing, e.g. caught in a lie. But here you told your dad something, and he knew you well enough to check you were telling the truth. You should worry about character more than lung cancer.
18925969 0
**** you mang
midwestjerk 0
I hope you get untreatable lung cancer.
aintnobody 0
If you smoke you MAY get cancer. If you talk on the cell phone you MAY get cancer. If you get behind the wheel of a car you MAY get into an accident. If you go to school you MAY get shot. I even read an article that said if you exercise regularly you have a higher risk of dying from sudden cardiac arrest. Let's all sit at home locked up in a cell, ingesting liquid food through a tube so there's no risk of choking. Or, let's enjoy our short lives however we want to.
Quiet_one 22
The risk associated with smoking is a lot higher than the others that you mentioned. Also, unlike smoking, those things have useful purposes which make it worth the risks to do them anyway. Case in point, almost every relative I have who smoked has died of cancer. My grandpa quit twenty years ago after having a major heart attack (smoking increases your risk of this) and since then he is doing much better, but every health problem he has was caused by smoking. Even though the risks are there, no one I know who uses a car or a cell phone, goes/went to school, or exercises (and everyone I know does at least two of these regularly) has died or had serious, life-long health problems from that. Your analogy is flawed.
cerealjunkie0 0
Weird, I had a dream that this exact same thing happened to me. Except my mom found them in my sock drawer
hockey9797 0
people who smoke deserve everything that comes to them. good job dad
1234five 0
You're stupid
ky_stone22 0
well, it looks like you've gotten the point, but YDI. Not only are you screwed for smoking (in more ways than one, I might add), but boy, do you look like an ass for the speech. Hypocrite. And why the hell would you even start smoking? Now that everyone knows it's bad for you, that's your choice if you want to take the risk of getting all sorts of cancer. Feel like a tracheotomy? How about emphysima? The health risks are very clear, so good luck with those. And seriously...under the bed? Who hasn't tried that and gotten busted? Normally I try to give the OP the benefit of the doubt, but seriously, you totally deserve whatever you get. If you just started smoking, you're not one of the people that had no idea what they were getting into when they started smoking a couple decades ago. No sympathy here.
nibas 0
stupid
SarlaccBits 0
YDI for lying. You can’t hide smoking from anyone anyhow… it stinks. You will reek no matter what – it stays in your hair, your clothes, your skin… I smoked for years and finally quit. If you can quit, do it. It’s a horrible thing to HAVE be chained to a pack of smokes wherever you go and whatever you are doing. Either way, I don’t really care.