Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
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Top comments
AssOf2009 0
lmao, maybe he was debating with himself as to whether or not he should tell you your crack was showing!
Imawhalerider 0
"hey man don't get all cracked up"
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Comments (106)
deathbunny256 0
LAST!!!
XBCX96 4
^ win
hellokittywhore 0
^^ WIN!!! lol man that guy would have cracked me up!!! xD
JenDanielle917 13
LoseX3 ^
AssOf2009 0
lmao, maybe he was debating with himself as to whether or not he should tell you your crack was showing!
fortunecookie_fml 0
obviously.
darren824 0
new york girl..... she was properly doing it on purpose
tellithowitis 13
Thank you I did not realize that until now.
slayerdme 0
Sucks for you.. and others.. But don't worry, you will probably not be remembered by anyone as such.
Imawhalerider 0
"hey man don't get all cracked up"
Chantalasaurus 0
hahahahahaha. dude, I LMAO at your comment.
trilingualotaku 0
as #2 said: maybe he was tossing up different ways of breaking the news to you. like his first idea was 'learn to jean' but he kept thinking of how to word it nicely... and with much better grammar than that D:
thane321 0
when you said "tossing up" i read that differently lol. but that was one of the most funny ways i've heard of saying "your crack is showing" another good one is "i wonder what would happen if i put money in that slot"
DeathShad0 1
Never again #4. And OP, might want to wear longer shirts or something...
RESTAREA 0
Gah, I hate that too. Younger woman have the choice between jeans that show the coin-slot or those RIDICULOUS looking high-wasted things... It's not the end of the world, start layering with a longer shirt when you wear those jeans again :P
blkwhtrbbt 0
the coin slot!?? O.o
fiicere 5
You think it makes you look sexy to wear tight jeans halfway down your butt with no underwear, or just a thong. YDI for being retarded. Either that, or you just fail at wearing pants, in which case, you're still retarded.
SoreThroat 0
If OP is a young girl with a curvy body, you should see the pants choices = It's REALLY difficult for really curvy girls..And often when you sit down, shit happens. Even if your not curvy...IT HAPPENS, No biggie. it doesn't mean she was trying to look sexy or some crap.
summer99 0
um yeah its not that hard. everyone knows that jeans ride down when you bend over or sit..you should take that into account and wear a longer shirt. ydi.
curryndricegirll 0
even with a really long shirt it happens. the only way to avoid that is to have a shirt to the point where you're sitting on it...or wear granny panties so at least it's your underwear and not your butt crack
fortunecookie_fml 0
this was a horrible fml. in case you were wondering.
LAURENNNNNN_fml 0
Eugh butt crack. YDI.