Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
slayerdme 0
Why would you even smoke in the first place? Think you're cool huh?
trilingualotaku 0
ydi for 2 reasons. 1=bad hiding spot. 2=for lying. ... have a nice day :D
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Comments (273)
Lost_Girl4 5
Sooooo....I don't get why you made the big speech. If I was a smoker and I wanted to lie to my dad about it, I would have just said no and then rehid the cigarettes when/if he wasn't looking. The fact that you lied was bad enough, but then you made a big speech like that, but he probably didn't believe it in the first place if he still looked for the cigarettes...just saying Hugs not drugs =D
cucumberfabulous 7
YAYYY FOR HUGS!!!! =)
vvvalori 0
Oh, so YOU'RE the reason my parents don't believe me when i tell them I don't smoke. The problem is I legitimately don't smoke. YDI. Stash under the bed? How lame.
philly8608 0
If someone knows the risks of smoking and chooses to do so anyway, what's the problem? Yes there is a significantly higher than average probability of getting lung cancer, but if, fully aware of that, someone still chooses to smoke, all the power to them. It's not my (or your) place to tell (and subsequently judge) others what to do with their bodies, money and free time unless it impacts someone else directly, something the multitude of laws governing where someone can (legally) smoke eliminate. Simply because you don't like something doesn't mean the government should ban it, just don't do it and let others make an informed decision. As for the OP, YDI. You can't use a shoddy hiding place and a lecture to deny something that they'd likely find out about. A simple 'No' would have sufficed.
lolbulla 0
actually, the only good chance of getting lung cancer if you smoke is if you inhale, which is the case for most everybody who smokes. i personally don't like inhaling, it's irritating and it feels quite harmful. but there are other risks of cancer anyway, which is the scary part, including oral cancer.
snavula 0
You know that the point of smoking cigarettes is to inhale right? There's no other reason to smoke without inhaling. That's disgusting, a waste of time, and probably ***** up your mouth.
Blahp 0
You're really stupid o.o
flinkpamingo 0
YOU are a dumb ass. Man up and tell the truth.
NoMercy1 0
If he gets you to quit then you are lucky.
VictimOfTheft 0
YDI for smoking. As for all the outraged smokers, you have a habit that is proven to harm not only yourself, but everyone around you while you do it. Expect consequences.
iluvhugs4 0
For all the people who are like "smoking is bad, why do it?" or "you think your cool, is that why you do it?" well some people do it because its "cool" some people do it out of innocence. They take their first hit and they are coughing like crazy. So they continue to take a 2nd hit. its not as bad and they don't feel like its addicting so they go ahead, sooner or later they are addicted. And if all yall that are blaming him for smoking don't. Most people can't help it. Everyone has bad habits and also smoking is a choice. It gives you the warning on the side of the pack. it tells you what your gettting yourself into. If some one ist stupid enough to not listen to it then okay. that is their problem. But the point of this FML is that he got caught smoking when he just told his dad that he didnt. not that he was smoking, if this FML was because he was smoking then he would of wrote "I'm addicted to ciggeretts" plain and simple.
tbbays04 0
agreed with #19. YDI for lying, then hiding it from your dad.
msbrenda64 0
Wow! I guess lying didn't pay off this time! Sorry!