Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML
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Top comments
IOmnomHard 10
That's when you send a reply email with the subject line as, 'So, about your restraining order...'
Harpy20 24
Well obviously someone wants the D...
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Comments (91)
spoketoosoon15 5
Open it and then write another FML
anteague_93 3
Pussy! Open that shit!
Old_Iron_Sides 6
s/he probably wants to say "Lying there like a dead fish is no way to give your partner, or me for that matter, any pleasure. Come on, move around and fog up the windows, but not too much, or I can't watch you through my binoculars."
nanxi 30
Maybe they just wanted to remind you to practice safe sex. :D
kriz_allizwell 6
Great - You've got mail sequel with jack nicholson.
DJLbackhand 4
Someone's popular
TheyCallMeDamien 18
How does he have your email?
BlueFlatts 20
Oh noes, it's a Trojan.
Ally156 5
its like something out of pretty little liars!
glki 7
Open it???