Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML
Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Am I the only one confused on why he felt he needed to hide the email?
roeallen 11
Was the **** your inspiration?
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Comments (108)
pottymouthpanda 0
smooth :D !!!
blackbeauty1122 7
you tried...
jkamme54 2
first
Ozmat 0
failboat
emi3611 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! fail.
roeallen 11
Was the **** your inspiration?
HSkimu 0
lol!!!!!
longtimesunshine 4
that face like a spiral
TomFeltonFan 0
who came in.?
supremehobo 1
(came) in haha.
Vintage_Cola 29
*sophmoric voice* ehuehe...came...EHEUEHEUHEUHEHUHE
babyyninjas 1
that happened to me before . to bad it was gay **** I had on . no ****
dudeitsdanny 10
Saying "no ****" adds something to a sentence that screams gay. If "you're good-looking" doesn't sound gay, "you're good-looking, no ****" makes it gay. So a sentence about opening gay **** with "no ****" in it.. Well, that brings the image of Big Gay Al dressed in heels and neon pink feathers, skipping around and singing about kissing a boy and liking it.
dt520 4
aka ye has let to leave the closet
Luxord33 8
Why "No-****"? Embrace your gay-ness dude! I certainly embrace mine! :)
WooHooBar 10
That's gay. No ****. (Kidding ofc)
alwa7sh 2
It's ok. From a guys stand point, to get caught watching **** is better than getting caught sending a "cute email" to your girlfriend.
roeallen 11
I thumbed you. The good way.
dudeitsdanny 10
I kinda disagree. I guess it depends on who walks in. If it's family, I'll take the email. If it's a friend.. Well, I have good friends who like my girlfriend, and know I do stuff like that, so I wouldn't care. **** would be awkward, though.
Mirorbo 27
Am I the only one confused on why he felt he needed to hide the email?
McMan 23
Ya same too many questions really, such as who does he live with? His family, room mate or wife/girlfriend. The first one I don't know why he would want to hide it from his family unless it was a surprise or something. A room mate or friend doesn't make sense either maybe a surprise or told he them he wasn't dating for some reason. Personally I think he was cheating on his girlfriend or wife, makes the most sense if he wants to desperately keep it a secret.
McMan 23
Wow I had to read it again because of other comments, was it really because it was cute... wow.YDI then.
iluvevil01 11
Maybe he was surprised about the person coming in and quickly switched because it's habit? That's what I do when I'm on the computer and someone walks in. Even if it's not something bad. It's just a reaction. Then again I'm probably wrong and I deserve the thumbs down I'm going to get. Either one *shrugs*
Im_Jesus_BITCH 3
Why is it a fml? Was it your gf or something? Who opened the door?