Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IOmnomHard 10
That's when you send a reply email with the subject line as, 'So, about your restraining order...'
Harpy20 24
Well obviously someone wants the D...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
Harpy20 24
Well obviously someone wants the D...
jtthegr8 26
The Neighbor obviously wants it.
kyani 19
Nothing like **** in email form!
Charmillionaire 13
7 - No, C and E want it. They miss their neighbor.
Harpy20 24
8- if you get **** in an unsolicited email...that's a virus.
ClassyCommando 13
Probably wants OP to keep the noise down.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
1, 2, 3, errybody wants the D.
trippythehippy 6
That's assuming OP is a guy. OP could very well be a very vocal woman.
sens3sfailing 25
Usually guys are fairly comfortable with their sex life, obviously they don't want someone watching, but it being known they have one is not generally frowned upon, hence it making most sense that OP is a female through being terrified of the email. Also, it's usually men who are the creepy psychopath neighbors. Not saying there aren't psychopath women (Casey Anthony) but it isn't a chance I would bet on.
m_2_teh_c 6
I applaud you. :)
californianking1 8
Oh hell yes!
Karalela44 15
What if OP is a girl?
bulbul116_fml 4
yes you can..!
thejewishfuhrer 17
Oh can they now?
MsConfusedd 27
Can what?
jemnerz 2
Your name and comment are perfect!
shyeahh_fml 19
He knows your secrets. Run.
zandalee 20
Get really thick curtains! Obviously you live next to a perv!!
IOmnomHard 10
That's when you send a reply email with the subject line as, 'So, about your restraining order...'
onlychildFTW 34
OP should not even look at the email and just do what you said. How did they even get OPs email?
fmmfl1993 1
Maybe the neighbor's complaining that OP is making too much noise.
chimocho 8
Might just be a chain email?
interesting33 37
Ah good point.. maybe.. doesn't sound like it but maybe :)
ks23 9
So..... Lets hear about your sex life then.
PeteyPablo12308 20
No thanks.
BlowinChronic 18
Maybe the neighbor was going to talk about OP's non existent sex life, and wanted to help out and make it existent...
Vlortch_fml 6
Maybe he simply wants you to stop screaming so loud while you're doing it.
bandofsand 10
Agreed. That was my first thought as well.
chrissy2 28
Or maybe they are telling OP to close a window...
uzairmacy 5
Now I kinda wanna know what was in that e-mail...
samasara 20
Me too. Cliff hangers stink!
flailingCheese 5
Well since he/she is crazy it could be a Christmas e card or something but they couldn't figure out what to put as the subject of the message, that or you might want to move...
secretsymbiote21 5
definitely open it. at least to see what its all about. if it is stalkerish, take care of it.
n_epic_fail 14
Or he can call you to "take care of it"