Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
I'm guessing you actually said "pig flu", not "swine flu", didn't you?
dirtyhippie 0
Hilarious. I know a guy who has believed for over three years now that bird flu will bring the end of the world. Soon as I saw the news I sent him a message saying OMG - flu outbreak and this one's got ur name on it!
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Comments (233)
writerxforever 0
wow no offense but that would look really stupid wouldn't it??? still funny though. way to go. xD
Macromartyr 3
Those masks are only good for a very short time (guessing about 20 minutes) and then need to be thrown out. Just so you all know :)
Kamon97 23
He should've said he was a doctor called in for emergency surgery and that's why he was speeding :p
smokegrindsleep 0
made me laugh out loud.
PhishloverA 14
Me too #2
blankslate 0
Reallly? Reaaalllyy? Wow.
ZiggyMorrison 0
YDI for being a germophobe
kipperin 18
#4 And you are a retard, so if something bad happens to you remember, you deserve it
Gulsah 0
show up with the mask to court might help define u with ur case haha
dirtyhippie 0
Hilarious. I know a guy who has believed for over three years now that bird flu will bring the end of the world. Soon as I saw the news I sent him a message saying OMG - flu outbreak and this one's got ur name on it!
plethora 3
I'm guessing you actually said "pig flu", not "swine flu", didn't you?
MalevolentMime 0
FYL. No matter how ridiculous anyone else thinks it is, you have the right to wear a surgical mask wherever you want without some ignorant doughnut-muncher slapping another ticket on your history just because he can't be bothered to watch the news once in a while.
Nomnomshark 3
You are a moron insulting any police officer. go do there Job every day with the thought of possibly dieing. there serving you go to a country with shitty police and get crimes committed on you then you will see
ArbiterOfFML 24
People wouldn't stereotype cops, if such a huge chuck of them were not dicks.
smallfrie32 6
their*
PhishloverA 14
#214, a cop still isn't allowed to give someone a ticket for that. There's no law prohibiting wearing surgical masks while driving or doing anything else because you're in fear of getting sick. Obviously you're the moron. Some cops can be douchebags
fivetimeslonger 24
Your grammar is off but the point you're trying to make is a good one. A for effort :)
thatguynamedsky 32
**** me sideways #214 anyone can walk outside and suddenly die, officers are if anything more safe because ya know, theyre cops and we know where they are and shit and no one wants to kill them and shit and idk what im doing
mykbibby 0
Hahahaha!
bobdole 0
overseer overseer officer officer