Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
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Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
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Comments (233)
Kazuya_fml 14
I thought swingers were married couples having sex outside marriage with their husband or wife's consent.
xcarxcrashx 9
Me too!! I'm so confused by this FML... what was he telling people???
Iknoweverything 29
That's really not a surprise. If you didn't see this coming, you obviously don't understand women enough to get one to sleep with you! Congratulations on getting people to believe you... lol!
ChucktheNorris 0
I
SexyQueen0905 24
YDI for being a compulsive liar.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
I don't know if this is karma, but you deserve it for lying and bragging to your friends. If you had stuck with the truth, you would have gotten what you had wished for all along. Be yourself from now on and stop being such a lying prick. >:(
kiwi0805 3
I actually really like this response! I agree. :)
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
I agree. looks like you're going to be staying a virgin for a while op.
Iknoweverything 29
Didn't even need to just spill the truth, he could have just kept his mouth shut and not said anything. But I totally agree with you, telling the truth is less likely to bite you in the ass.
Toalie 6
^ Couldn't agree with more, haha.
iJiZinURsis 1
Haha naa. They know the truth already. That's just them punishing you for lying
dani212 0
if ur a virgin... what could u possibly be bragging about that made ppl think ur a swinger?! Sorry I didn't type out full words, typing on the iPod is a b!tch
DrewsFML 8
LOL the grammar Nazis are so pervasive on FML we feel the need to apologize to them in advance.
speshlk37 13
you understand that in the time you took to write your explanation for not typing full words, you could have just typed them in the first place...
dani212 0
33 ikr? lol 38... yeah... now that u say that... lol oops :)
vashthestampede 0
once a lier, always a lier
SteelCladAngel 0
liar**
whoisthisgirl 4
once a bad speller, always a bad speller :|
LuhDemDinosaurz 6
Good Job......Honesty is the best policy.