Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
toowie_fml 20
Bitches be crazy..
kidepicfest 0
Well since you've already been beat up, might as well find the husband and sleep with him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
Lexi_princess 3
Wow that's something you don't see everyday only in movies I see that. Just wow
toowie_fml 20
Bitches be crazy..
reallytho3 11
Hoes gone be hoes
hahasooo 2
Agreed with both comments.
slurshies 11
craaaazy bitch O.o
dressedskeleton 10
Slightly besides the point, but I've never really understood people who take out their anger with the person their partner cheated on them with, instead of their partner..
lelo007 11
#35, if the "other person" knows of the relationship they are wrecking, I find it completely understandable to be angry at the "helper." But when they are unaware the adulterer is in a relationship, then I agree, the anger should not be taken out on them.
camillewhite1 12
#FOSHO
hemz_fml 13
WOODY!
Bossmaster 0
hey message me at [email protected]
iHeartRKO 5
44- well that will get you nowhere, especially if they both deny. She could say she never knew but in reality she did. Which in that case if you have suspicions and you don't like the girl I'd beat her ass. Op obviously didn't deserve it
datsloblede 2
62- your icon is ******* creepy
LolFMLnot 10
She should be beating up her husband , because at the end of the day he decided to put that dick in. Doesn't matter if the girl he cheated with was a **** or had no idea
ahti546 11
Doesnt matter had se- oh wait...
MURIKKA 11
Idk why OP says she's still a virgin, because it seems like she got screwed over pretty badly...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yeah, true... she got ****** in public.
cactasaurus 7
You should have beat the crap out of her, too. Don't take her shit, OP.
oicu812xD 16
I'm sure op would have fought back if she could
Lexi_princess 3
I don't believe violence is a solution but in this case it's self defense so I agree
saintsrocksocks 10
This is Mexico. For all you know OP's assaulter could of been a masked wrestler.
Lexi_princess 3
I could just imagine a Mexican woman in her accent say "you sleep with my husband!"
msmalla 1
Ur hot
KrazieKleo 13
28- LOL thanks for the laugh at ops misery.
Bossmaster 0
hey
iHeartRKO 5
Nachoooo libre
itsharkley 8
"Walk away from the fight" Dumb... Fights are consensual. This was battery or assault. If a person charges at you without warning, and beat you to pulp... How the hell is walking away an option.
AntonioE 0
Hey :)
gman90210 18
No your not
kidepicfest 0
Well since you've already been beat up, might as well find the husband and sleep with him.
Lexi_princess 3
Why would she do that? So she can be beaten up again? That's such a bright idea!
kidepicfest 0
It's called sarcasm, Duh.
Lexi_princess 3
Why do sarcasm it just makes comment stupid
Shrike 24
Oh I TOTALLY agree, Lexi. Sarcasm completely RUINS every comment around it. Except yours. Yours are awesome, like unbelievably awesome, I'm so jealous.
Lexi_princess 3
Awwww thank you pervert on FML
Sliver1991 26
She might get beaten up again then.
momolee 4
Lose your virginity to a random guy since you've been already beaten up.
Hollywoodgirl79 18
That's good to say you're still a virgin (although I don't know your age). So many girls lose it before they get out of middle school. Sadly, this is my generation. I would have owned up to it anyway. Piss that bitch off even more. She beat you up even when you didn't do it.
S182 15
There is nothing wrong with not being a virgin... Having sex isn't bad, having sex irresponsibly is.. IE no protection or birth control.
S182 15
There is nothing wrong with not being a virgin... Having sex isn't bad, having sex irresponsibly is.. IE no protection or birth control.
Palirose 22
Well, I'm 20 and I will be 21 this year and I am still one, partially from religious choice and partially from personal. It's amazing on how many guys don't stick around long when you want to wait for after marriage. x)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Excuse me 6, but why is my baby picture your profile pic?
Hollywoodgirl79 18
77- You were just the cutest baby. I had to use it.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
._. Mom? (>^~^)> They said you wouldn't come back! Chipmunks only take care of their young for a week, they said!
iwasforced 3
Were you dressed in a questionable manner? Also, I do hope the you got to a place for help to press charges and to clean yourself up.
dominic1221 6
Oh, was she "dressed in questionable manner"? Really? **** off with that crap.
MURIKKA 11
I think what 8 was trying to ask if OP was wearing her, "I banged your husband" shirt... If that's the case then she was clearly asking for trouble.
MURIKKA 11
*was if
kishuu_fml 1
Fight back, stand up for yourself!
subwaysurfers 13
I mean I wouldn't know but I can only imagine how angry/upset that woman was so that her fighting skills boosted up to a black belt ninja's and the OP was probably helpless even if she tried.
kishuu_fml 1
Still doing something is better than nothing
jlperry31 10
Are u a girl or boy
MizzKilljoy69 11
I'm guessing you didn't notice that it shows ops a girl in top left corner
nado13579 12
Hmm... I don't know. I sure wish there was an icon right next to the FML to tell us.
nado13579 12
Damn, 18 beat me to it. :p
Lexi_princess 3
Well at least you know for next time to not ask that question because #19 and #18 told you how you find out.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
15) Op's a hermaphrodite. ***** with your head, doesn't it?
mhopper 13
She should be beating the crap out of her husband, not you! Hope you find her and press charges.
subwaysurfers 13
Exactly. It takes two to cheat.