Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
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Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
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Comments (233)
AnneFTW 17
How could you be so stupid as to think that saying that could benefit you in any way? Girls don't like guys who have slept with lots of people and guys don't like other guys who brag.
SinfulRose 0
Stupid
iraq24 2
nymphomaniac in denial much
Froley 0
"My constant bragging to friends caught up with me" YDI.
hippie_lover123 6
its your fault. you succeeded in making ppl think you're a douche... nice going
lalala2589 0
YDI. No girl likes a man ***** or a liar.
MsMeiriona 2
Zeus seems to have had no problem with either of those character traits. So obviously the solution here is to become a god.
hateevryone 15
another person ruining their reputation because of bs. smh
jaimepinzon 1
Bullshit. Women are attracted to that type of men. The danger is one of them figuring out it's all a lie, in which case you'll be labeled as a loser, which WILL have an impact on your ability to score.
Mipz 2
those women who are attracted to that kind of thing are called "*****," sir.
a_nutritionist 10
meh, its reasonably true. there are girls who go for the 'untamed' guys, and no they dont have to be *****. that a misnomer.
Jacoblv17 0
not even retard!!!
SPN_lover666 27
I am not attracted to men like that. I am attracted to men who are sweet, kind, and love to cuddle.
atills 0
I hope you stay a pig virgin forever. and fyi, losing your virginity doesn't make you cooler at all.
LizzJizz 16
You deff deserve this one.