Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
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Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
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Comments (233)
ADub55 0
*cough*douchebag*cough*
Mipz 2
i hope all those girls knew you were lying and are now just messing with you. Ydi, dude.
futbol4eva 0
what else did you expect to happen?
loadingswagg__ 3
haha :) ! sucks
smashgrab 0
When I read this, it made me sad that FML only allows you to click YDI once. Congratulations, you will be a virgin forever because you have diarrhea of the mouth.
drusilla44 0
serves you right! ydi!
beachchick22 0
thats why ya dont talk you go out and do it! ur fault
fmlluver1415 6
thats what you get for Lieing Dumbass
Sweej 1
Liar liar pants on fire... hanging from the virgin wire!
sunlovinmama 1
even if you manage to ever get a girl, you should know girls dont like guys who kiss and tell and lie and brag to make themselves look good. you seem like you may be the kind of guy to do that. much better to enjoy the goods quietly instead of go around cluckin like a rooster. have some respect for a woman's value