Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
SumpthinSimple 0
Don't lie on your dick. ydi
T552 12
Nothing to say. You clearly deserve this.
nite66 21
I got a friend just like that. fyl op
selbow 3
ah just so you know if you turn an e around you get a 9. you gotta turn it upside down to get a 6.. just saying
sweetalicious 1
I'd say YDI, because you do, but I can't helpbut feel bad for you.
tamoodielovesmar 1
sounds like a story in easy a
mandikay23 3
Way to c*ckblock yourself, dumb@SS. For real, YDI.
glittercookies 12
i hope you just made up girls you slept with vs picked real girls and made up what you did with them. douche. don't ruin other peoples rep because you want attention
wally67 0
You, sir, are, as the kids say, a dumbass.
justintime66451 2
I feel ya, but still YDI, as did I...
monstafighter 5
you deserve it I couldn't stop laughing lying gets you no wear who gives a shit if you a virgin. if you are real it's all that matters oh well shit happens you learn and move on