Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
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Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
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Comments (233)
ibzicraz 0
Your a dumbass, u got exactly what u deserved
sweet_candy_ 17
I don't see why you need to lie about it? I am a virgin and if people ask I will tell them that. I don't care if I don't fit in because I am a virgin that's their loss if they don't want to talk to me because of it. You shouldn't have cared either things wouldn't have gone this far. Your fault though.
a_nutritionist 10
youre a girl. of course your situation is completely different. this is a gender issue more than a virginity issue, something you either dont understand or arent aware of.
sweet_candy_ 17
I don't know where you're from but where I am from it's hard on both genders.
a_nutritionist 10
did i say it wasnt hard? i said its a completely different situation.
EZ2XLR8 7
The situation is exactly the same. I don't care where you're getting your info from 'a_nutritionist', however it's not correct. I was a virgin until I got married. From my training as a Nurse Practitioner, I can tell you how alike virginity is between male and female, emotions are very similar about it, but most choose to ignore their emotions and regret it later on. You obviously aren't understanding or aware of the situation. So, get more educated on this subject because male or female, a majority of things are the same, they're just dealt with differently. There is NO shame in being a virgin. Kudos to you sweet_candy for being a virgin and not being ashamed of it. I appreciate a girl who isn't ashamed of it, because I see young girls at work all the time who are ashamed of losing their virginity because they regret how they lost it. :)
a_nutritionist 10
oh yes my mistake, social dynamics between different gender groups are identical. especially when it comes to sex. thankyou oh wise nurse practitioner, youve sure shown me.
tucansam555 3
you idiot
TheColorOfAir 3
You're a loser.
EZ2XLR8 7
YDI for bragging to begin with, nothing good comes out of bragging. Also... why do you have shame in being a virgin?!?!? It's not like it's the end of the world if you're a virgin, in one sense it's actually a very good thing. Many would argue that, but low and behold, if you add up everything that goes along with not being a virgin, it makes a whole lot of sense in regards to what you do and don't want, and essentially you can't choose what you end up with when you lose your virginity unless you make a serious attempt to avoid such things. So... I do hope your experience has taught you a lesson about bragging.
yeahasif 6
YDI, op, so I don't feel bad laughing at you
chefboyarde 7
you sound like a typical douche bag......
Lee002 8
hey OP. you suck. get a life. instead of bragging about things that you don't do, why don't you spend your time doing something you could be good at? that way when you "brag" you can actually back up your claim instead of just being a douche.
Salkadi 9
Dude, YTDI
Ophelia550 0
How can you be a swinger if you're single?