Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheRealBruce 12
Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty
OhDarrenCriss 6
You might want to try to hide them better!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
OhDarrenCriss 6
You might want to try to hide them better!
vickiejiang1990 0
Yeah hide it before they poke holes in them...
HowAreYouToday 34
I didn't know my cat was into s&m, but when I saw the torn up condom, I figured it out
PutItIn 8
At least the condoms have been getting some pussy.
Keyman1212 14
Obviously they're biting and clawing holes in them so that they can have a little baby to play with!
iluvboobies 9
Naughty pussy!
missmurderx 8
You don't need to keep them within reach, stop fooling yourself, OP.
Babalu722 3
OP should try to get the other kind of pussy
Bobissmall 13
#43, Id imagine it would be harder to find someone if she went lesbian actually, since most people she likes probably wouldn't even like her gender, no mind her.
zinoxity 23
43 - OP is a girl. She puts HER condoms on her PARTNER's penis. -.-
L3Paparazzo 7
Cats are awesomee
MichellinMan 20
OH, MEOW! MEOOOW! MEOOOOOWWWW!!
Babalu722 3
oh wow. OP is a girl. hoe.
iluvboobies 9
Meoww-chika-meow-wow!
ihasbrains 10
101, the moment a penis touches your vulva you have the chance of getting pregnant. Dumbass.
xItsJacobbb 0
OP is forever alone.
StopDropNRoll 11
101 did you hear about the guy who didn't use a condom. Well the girl didn't let him pull out. Check it out one of the top rates fmls
fakeaccountX 6
You mean you don't use your leftover condoms as balloon animals?
AnonymousTroll 2
They're probably the flavored condoms.
twirlingqueen4u 0
First
kendybendy 6
Hahaha funny
deadroad 5
I thought he was going to say "the cat chewed u the condom I used o n a girl... now she is going to have my baby"
CreeperIRL 14
At least they know how to use protection right? And good job trying to hide it from your cats...
TheRealBruce 12
Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty
margie2194 12
I see what you did there.
FFPulley 9
Oh nooooo....
lorenzoman77 7
Well at least you've used them... :'(
hunkypenguin2007 2
Haha tht was funny. Now u can tell ur friends u got ur condoms in a pussy!!
IBeBlazin 0
Lol ops condoms are getting more pussy than he is hahaha.
kameryn25 3
Haha op is a female ^
dri_dri_fml 18
Hahaha :)
lindseyluvszac 4
At they didnt go to waste
oops_im_fucked 8
What r u talking about? They were destroyed!
iAintEvenMad 0
At least*. Congratulations, you my friend, have been trolled. U mad bro?
iAintEvenMad 0
Lol
shake_my_head 2
oh so the pussy destroyed it....
eminemchick 19
The pussy ate it? hehe:3
dat_boy 3
Atleast they were still used by a pussy!
hypuuurness 6
hahaha
dat_boy 3
Atleast they were still used by a pussy!
lindseyluvszac 4
least*
derecteevee 1
go out and buy some fire and ice, see what happens when they find those
Haidee 0
Hahaha so true ;)
CryMoreFMLs 15
I would leave it out on purpose just to see the reaction. That would be priceless.
drloves69 4
that'll be one hot pussy then