Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
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Top comments
TheRealBruce 12
Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty
OhDarrenCriss 6
You might want to try to hide them better!
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Comments (133)
punkchica123 0
YDI for not hiding them better after the first time
AdolfShitler 0
They're probably still good. **** it!
JayStone 3
Maybe you'll have better luck with the ladies if you stop being a cat person.
sunnyan 17
Maybe you'll have better luck with you comments if you pay some attention to OP's gender
sunnyan 17
*your
mgsoloist 14
I was going to say I could help with that problem, and then I realized OP was a girl...not that I would object to it but condoms wouldn't be necessary lol.
marqueln23 0
No game at all!!
plko00 5
At least u knew they were chewed up before u used them
emmaswoopwoop 0
bad pussys hehehe
n_epic_fail 14
ummm... wow
Vonneil 0
.......
falling4youxo 7
Did anyone else notice OP's a girl ?
midoriMentality 11
I'm a girl and I have a stash of condoms in my room with 2 cats (they haven't eaten any of mine) probably because I keep them in a tightly closed tin box on a shelf that they can't get to. It's never bad for a girl to be prepared you know. that and my boyfriend never brings any when he comes over. OP put them in a drawer or something.. what do you do leave them on your dresser? if so, either put them away or keep the cats out of your room, that's the simple solution...