Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML
Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML
Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML
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Top comments
ohjessica 11
Yeah, that would help.
TheRealBruce 12
Oh noo!
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Comments (286)
TheRealBruce 12
Oh noo!
HowAreYouToday 34
Ohhh yea! Koolaid man!
KushMastaDisasta 3
IIIIIIII knooooow.
lorenzoman77 7
Haha I would do that. Oh, no not on purpose silly. Darn am I talking to myself on FML again? O.o Bad Lorenzo, bad..
margie2194 12
I imagined it in that guy's voice. Haha.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
77- same lol and OP I think your dad is playing tricks with u?
AlwaySunny 0
Haha op you just got burned... Sorry
theaws0m3guy 4
Giggity...
azpallen 0
LOL
QueenQuay77 10
Classic
soon2beproskater 0
pahahhahaha tard
Z3NITH_ 0
Nice Display Pic :P
Pinguini26 6
At last! I found the FML we've all been waiting for! You aren't battling cancer, your possessions are still intact, and your partner was not being unfaithful. You forgot to turn the oven on when you were making cookies. To that, good person, I salute you. Thank you for your bravery.
Pinguini26 6
BTW - totally sarcasm. To all you slow sarcasm people, it was sarcasm.
FarSide 23
And not one mention of shit!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
How is OP a "tard"? Ovens are notoriously hard to turn on. The mood and timing have to be impeccably precise for any arousal to occur. Jeez, it's not like all you gotta do is press a button or twist a knob for that, you know?
karmennn 0
Hopefully OP's pretty!
maz255 10
158 im surprised you havnt been thumbed down yet...
maz255 10
158 im surprised you havnt been thumbed down yet...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
221 I'm surprised anyone gives a shit.
ohjessica 11
Yeah, that would help.
fakeaccountX 6
I bet you can't even make toast properly.
livlafluv100 2
This is one of those moments where you think, "am I getting old already?"
PutItIn 8
I was gonna say blond moment, but that was beyond blond. Like you must have been more baked than the dang cookies.
Keyman1212 14
I don't see a big deal here.
Shrike 24
OP's a noobcake, no two ways about it
iluvboobies 9
OP, were you already baked?
PutItIn 8
Sorry 20
missmurderx 8
Nice try, Op. Nice try.
eminemchick 19
7 its really difficult to get bread into the toaster though:(
chuckychan 8
wow damn **** your life it really sucks...
lorenzoman77 7
-15 But the cookies weren't baked... :( :| no offense dudeee
lorenzoman77 7
What does sigh mean :? Im scared.. It's a bomb isn't it?
coffeygirl12 14
Start with the basics. Learning to make ice is the first step and trust me, it's a tough one. Then you can move up to the easy bake and finally the oven. Only when you're ready.
seanders 10
Never bake when you're baked.
PutItIn 8
62 Hence she was MORE BAKED --_____--
FarSide 23
And I thought this post was going to suck. The responses rescued it!
iluvboobies 9
That's why a woman should stick to sandwiches! [***hides***]
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
88- the ****? And I don't think your mom let u bake inside her long enough bc that comment made no sense...
juicedboi 7
When I was younger, like last week, I put brownies in the oven but had it on grill without noticing. After 20min the tops were black and rock hard, the bottom was still the mixture. Yeah I still ate them
xtise 2
Gloss rhymes with hair!!
hannahcorrine 0
This happens to me all the time...
McDougal2013 0
Is OP a blonde??
zendaddy0 0
He forgot to blink twice that's what gets his laser vision going
zendaddy0 0
Achievement gat wasted 15 minutes
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
160-Your mom baked you inside her?
Climaxx 11
Uh #15, doesn't blonde have an e in it? That's kinda like when people try calling you dumb & they spell it without the b :|
Shut_Your_Mouth 0
Blond/Blonde can be spelled with or without an "e". Therefore 15 has the right to call people stupid.
ImFrackinBored 13
82- you got the order wrong! it goes ice-boiled water-microwaveable food-then easy bake- and finally the oven xD
PutItIn 8
203, it can be spelled both ways. Don't get smart with me. I may be 13 but I'm not stupid. Thanks 204. :). -_- grammar nazis. I killed your little Hitler.
xItsJacobbb 0
204 - I'm pretty sure it's blond for males and blonde for females. Not 100% sure though.
grapisy 8
And thats the way the cookie crumbles.
dre_bro11 12
236 is right, but blond can also mean some type of timber colour or something like that.
loserman67 36
life is a bitch when you're high...
lmfaoooooooooo 4
Thats why I keep my oven on all the time.....
MandathePanda24 0
Hahaha I don't get it but still... Hahahaha
Penguin07 0
That actually made me laugh. :)
mohammadkm95 6
The person replying to me is an idiot. Haaaawwwww.
JonaDona 2
This isnt an fml momment.. Wow u forgot to turn the oven to bake some cookies, big deal! Just turn it on and problem solved.
hailphire130 0
Goddamn people wasting comments. Hey look, I just did it too. It's pretty empty in here. HELLO! ...HEllo ...hello. Man, this place is huge. There must be a lot of wasted comments here.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Quit smoking heroin 106. Not good for you.
hailphire130 0
Oh shit. CryMoreFMLs told me to quit being stupid as hell. My feelings...
CryMoreFMLs 15
There's a difference between calling you stupid and a heroin addict. I called you the latter.
hailphire130 0
But heroin addicts are stupid as hell for being heroin addicts.
brianjman14 23
You can, but it's just not as common as injecting heroin.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
You know what's more stupid? Calling a drug addict stupid just for being a drug addict. Especially heroin. Do you know how many of the people using & abusing it started off by being put on oxycontin, a prescription drug that is pretty much legal heroin?
bettyboodooyou 0
Turning the oven on is the first thing you should do...
HomeAl0ne 20
Well yeah, sure, if you want to do it the easy way. Bear Grylls showed me how to bake cookies just using the oven light and raccoon piss.
brettrb 18
Does your dad have nothing better to do than bake? Cmon now
sxe_beast 11
Watched cookies never bake.
yajooo 3
ur cute if dats really u :)
SS 31
It even says it on the instructions
SS 31
It even says it on the pack.
mrhappyhour 0
maybe theyre nobake cookies
morganrules123 10
OP has definitely never heard of preheating
dorkexplosion 7
maybe OP was destined to eat it as cookie dough
CryMoreFMLs 15
50 I want cookie dough now. Also, fix your damn profile. I want to stalk your autobiography.
gmc_blossom 21
115, you can stalk mine. 0-0
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Can u help me out? Idk if 50 is male or female...I mean "it" looks manish but wears bra...
NaoPudding 8
That's okay. We all have our moments of stupidity.
LakersFanatiC 3
Thats more than a moment of stupidity /:
FarSide 23
Speak for yourself. I live in stupidity, but have a few moments of brilliance.
luvppl 6
Maybe, as well as our 15 minutes of fame, we also get 15 minutes of pure stupidity!!!! :O
OhDarrenCriss 6
Yeah see that's why you turn the oven on first! It kinda helps!
thatfrenchguy 8
I get turned on by ovens.
crazychick1269 7
no dip!
BellaBoo8275 1
You have no idea how much I laughed when I read that 105
lindseyluvszac 4
Your dad also just figured that out
fatraptorjesus13 9
....he wasn't making the cookies with her he looked at the oven and immediately realized it's off or atleast that makes more sense
FarSide 23
This would have been a double FML if it had been a gas oven turned on for 15 minutes.... and no flame.
Emmy_The_Great 2
That's not very hot.