Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
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Top comments
TheRealBruce 12
Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty
OhDarrenCriss 6
You might want to try to hide them better!
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Comments (133)
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
You guys all know that op is a girl rite? .............. :D
Shell13 3
That will kill them ya know! Funny, but really not ok for them. It gets lodged in their stomachs.
bluefairy_fml 24
#117, I highly doubt the cats would eat the condoms. They're not that dumb. They probably just chewed at them, or scratched them with their claws, like they would do with a regular rubber toy.
Locoluis 15
YDI for being a crazy cat lady.
HomeAl0ne 20
Were they used? Cats really go for fish flavoured condoms.
CoverBoy 14
Do it like the boys do and put them in a drawer near the bed.
Isa_fml 20
Oh my God, why do cats do that?! I had my cat drag a used condom from my bedroom trash bin WHILE I HAD COMPANY. It was awful.
robbiesmama065 2
try going 10 months without getting ANYTHING!!! then complain!.... it's not fun!
tigermilz 1
You need to get Laid !! Like ASAP
brownmegan 0
Ouch!!
shadowboy08 0
At least you don't have to pay for cat toys