Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
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Top comments
Queen_bee1234 21
He's getting all the bitches!
Soninuva 41
Hey, at least he used protection!
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Comments (54)
talicaroxi 25
I'm suprised the dog hasn't been very ill from eating them
smokecloud_ 37
All these sarcastic answers... you are responsible for cleaning your dog's poop! Mine used to get into my boyfriend's gum and I would find blue bits in his poop. :(
DoomSkuller 28
Most undigestible things tend to just pass through, though sometimes may cause blockage in the exit port which in turn may cause health problems if not taken care of soon enough.
Soninuva 41
Hey, at least he used protection!
vikky538 29
May be the correction could be: he ate all the used protection
Queen_bee1234 21
He's getting all the bitches!
luvlu444 24
well it could be worse. some poor girl/guy could have stds
Kiernan151 25
I'm would be more worried about my dog possibly choking to death, or having to have very expensive surgery, rather than a disease than can probably be cured.
my_dog_is_better 19
I don't think a dog eating condoms effects wether or not an unknown person uses them.
allykaymorris 24
At least he doesn't bring them to your guests as gifts!
idk_rose 25
And where does he get these used condoms ?
ezrocks4u 29
At least he is using protection.
xTerrorkeks 14
Where the hell did he get that from ?
gracehi 33
From the condom fairy, of course!
gracehi 33
Only sailors use those!
mrlawlor7777 26
Well they should; those filthy baggers go from port to port.
llexibearr 17
the real question is why are there used condoms in your backyard..
ellabellaboom 24
Let me try to explain. Going out on a limb but here goes: OP's dog ate used condoms and pooped in the backyard. The condoms were in the poop. Not physically in the backyard. That is what I gathered from the fml.
llexibearr 17
besides the point, there just laying around for the dog to eat..
countryb_cth 38
Probably not, some times dogs go through the garbage without the owner knowing. Really don't think OP left condoms laying around especially since they are a dog owner.
ThatSlappinBass 32
36, Exactly! My stepdad's dog is smart enough to put her paw on the lever that opens the trash lid in the bathroom. If we don't leave the door closed, we come back to trash everywhere. OP could have a very smart dog with a very odd taste.
tattoosandtea 5
my dog takes them out of the bin..the idiot...so we had to get one with a proper lid..this was after he chewed a disposable razor...(he was fine, but my bank balance wasn't)
MoroseMoose 47
Wow 46, I'm glad your dog was ok! That's scary