Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
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Top comments
TheRealBruce 12
Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty
OhDarrenCriss 6
You might want to try to hide them better!
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Comments (133)
jimbobpro87 0
lol dude wats your issue maybe you should learne wat a real pussy feels like pmsl
starryxeyes 2
Considering OP is a female, I'm pretty sure that she already knows what a real pussy feels like. I love how everyone keeps ignoring the gender sign next to OP's name and keeps assuming that she must be a guy because she has condoms lol... Anyways, OP if you're reading this; ever thought of putting them in a drawer? They'll still be close by if you need them, and your cats won't be able to access them. Unless of course your cats are super intelligent and are able to open drawers and cabinets, in that case fyl.
cufaoil 11
or learn to read.... OP is female
drizzy212 4
How?
McGherkin 0
Or feed them a near lethal dose of laxatives and the condoms will come to you.
duckman9 55
you definitely need to work on your comments. Even when they work, they dont say anything.
sweet_candy_ 17
you don't need to get laid every month.
JayStone 3
What? Are you a Vulcan?
Rene_North 1
Hey in two months, if not in a room remodeled area with low humidity, they have probably gone bad.
zcheema17 0
Lol.... Hide them!
Hannahrayne 0
Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahgagaggaaghahagskxjcidksycksncbzcosnxnc
RedPillSucks 33
Ripped for her pleasure.... wait.. Ribbed... Never mind.
ILoveEmoes 9
You shouldn't use them after they've been chewed on anyway you knooow D: