Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

Underwhelming

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

Not your fault

Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

Sobering

Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML

Oh no…

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

Today, when I got back to my bedroom, I found my cat had left not one, not two, but four dead lizards for me. FML