Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
What if the spine wasn't flexible?!
FriskyTaco 0
he told you it had a flexible spine so you tried to kill it??
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Comments (336)
alejandreezy 0
insensitive bitch
i_luv_u3030 3
ur.an.idiot.
BeckaV 0
When calling someone an idiot, it is usually considered good form to use proper spelling and grammar. That said, OP, you really are a moron. I hope the ferret chews your face off while you sleep :)
koolman222 0
you shouldn't even bother to do that
diva_lulu 0
smart one!
omgthatsosuppera 4
you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to bend an animals back. It live, so you can't just treat it like a toy even if you are "curious"
HeartAndSoul2011 0
1. that's just common sense not to BEND AN ANIMAL BACKWORDS!!!! 2. you're an ANIMAL ABUSER!!!! please don't hurt any more animals!!!!
bigscarybunny95 0
to cool for words.
ShrukiantheMad 0
And if you thought they stunk before... Ferrets are fun for your friends to have..
SorrowFull 8
Are you seven years old, or just in the slow class? Animals do not like to be maltreated. Even rats with hormone problems have their pain threshold.
chele2382 5
moron....i hope someone comes along and does the same to you.