Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
What if the spine wasn't flexible?!
FriskyTaco 0
he told you it had a flexible spine so you tried to kill it??
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Comments (336)
PandaPandy 6
Why would you even try? lol what if you snapped its back XD
A7XDavis 0
haha wow wat would u do if someone bent u backwards? jerkoff...
Legendslayer222 26
I'm wondering what the hell you were planning on doing to it? Twisting it back to make a full circle to wear as a bracelet?? Luckily you were hurt and not the ferret. Next time, try that with a lion.
Norwegian_Wood 4
OP you completely deserved it. You are a dumbass and should never EVER be allowed around animals. You are a ******* idiot.
coloradobaby123 9
you dont bend ferrets backwards! omg you couldve killed him ): i have three ferrets and everyone know they bend forward LIKE HUMANS!!!
whatwhyhoo 10
The OP was unbelievably stupid to do that to an animal.
inkblotdrummer 6
bend. Bend. BEND. *fart*. ahhhhhhh
nephilim241 19
This is without a doubt the funniest FML Ive seen in weeks.. that ferret committed epic WIN with its defence mechanism :-D
limblessorphan 4
ferret: +1 retard: 0 collective human gene pool: still waiting for more assertive ferrets.
HU4L188 0
yor a ****** idiot.. u couldve broke its back.. ydi