Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
burnquist764 0
Don't worry about it, pressure can make things like that happen. Relax next time.
jchansfan 0
Romance is dead in your world, isn't it?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
burnquist764 0
Don't worry about it, pressure can make things like that happen. Relax next time.
MadVlrus 1
Or just lightly tie a shoe-lace around it... ;)
xlostwithoutu 0
this story just made me lmfao
sicpupyz122 0
I'm trying to find out how old do u have to be an acceptible age to do it
Loosechange 0
HA FAIL!!!
Loosechange 0
The general rule is 18 because then you are and adult but if you are with someone for a long time you may be ready to be intimate by 16.
supremes1997 0
failllll
luluk854ever 0
see that's sad :( if she really likes u she would laugh it off and wait till next time
stoooner420 3
i was ready by 14 ..
tjmitchell 0
Inbetweeners much?
blondbrunette916 0
viagra
KarKitty_Vantas 6
In canada the age of consent is 16 i think it's the same in USA
tifney737 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first!!!
thirdbase1733 0
sorry.
acccccccc 1
first fail I've always dreamed of being first
rmeyer6 0
epic fail
SirJamin 4
No I believe your second, dumbass.
alexzhou04 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FIRST
acccccccc 1
first fail
Flocka_23 14
Second fail
st4rbucksisevil 0
356th!!!
youaresofucked 0
i like you
Trevv 0
WIN!
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Double virgins? That's going to be awful when you finally do make it work. Awkward, clumsy, painful and embarrassing. I lost mine to a pretty slutty girl (bless her heart) and it was good that one of us knew what we were doing. You might want to hire a hooker a few times so you can learn the ropes. Then, you'll be able to show your girlfriend what you've learned.
jchansfan 0
Romance is dead in your world, isn't it?
perdix 31
I don't know whether you are talking to me or DHD, but my answer is "no." But both of us are handing out some harsh, but sage advice. It's more romantic when you are good at sex. And it takes practice on a real, live woman to get good. Some girls might pretend to find it cute or endearing to be with an inexperienced guy, but they are really thinking, "FAIL."
jchansfan 0
I dunno man. I think there is something romanitic about them sharing their first time. But meh. =/
thirdbase1733 0
since when did this fml turn into an episode of third rock from the sun?
Xo_CuPcAkLuVa_oX 6
perdix- I completely disagree I rather have a virgin. Its romantic that way, rather then some guy that has been around.
ParisMilton93 15
Why would he want to lose his virginity to a hooker? At the end of the day, if his girlfriend is a virgin too, she isn't going to know any better so she isn't going to judge him or compare his performance. And in a trusting relationship the sex will get better as time goes on. Screw losing your virginity to a hooker, screw having sex with a hooker at all, it really says something about a man who has to pay someone to have sex with them.
hatemeorkillme 4
Hooker really?????!!!! No not a hooker find out sex positions and moves online.
daemonsparta 16
dont need a hooker, you practice with your girlfriend. every girl is different and likes different things done to her. practicing on a hooker who will probably lie to you so you pay more is a terrible idea.
fml_premium_mem 0
seriously dude?????..........mine gets up only by thinking about it :)
EbonyGoddess 0
so does mii mans ****. :)
LikeOhMahGoose 0
Aw that really sucks. should have had her like strip for you or somethin sexy like that I'm sure that would have gotten you hard. unless she's fat. eeww
gilly011 0
lmao. wow, all these comments are hilarious. seriously though, that sucks. sorry dude.
MorlekEngel 0
My first time, we were both virgins. He got it up. And it was all down hill from there. rofl. God I regret that.
flyboy57 0
that sucks man. go to sleep, you'll wake up with a woody in the mornng, then get it on!