Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
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Top comments
Wreckless_fml 6
Sounds like a winner to me.
saIty 17
He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.
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Comments (193)
Wreckless_fml 6
Sounds like a winner to me.
EvilPotato 15
Well he was on the right track.
YourEvilHero 12
I accidentally did that before. didn't pass out but horrible taste
LiveLaughFML 10
if your son passed out from that incident, i don't think he'll ever be able to shop at Hollister.
TGRandom 5
If he dies, don't worry too much. If you're that dumb you deserve to die. Either that or it's natural selection just slowly weeding the morons.
lotto_boi 3
Well then we wont be seeing 62 much longer.
THE_A_TEEN 28
If anyone deserves to die, It's #62. Good-bye mate, see you in hell...
6joe9 0
Clever Why to waste time and use a tooth-brush when you have deodorant :p
tjv3 10
please take him to the doctor and have the doctor take away his ability to reproduce. you idiot child doesn't need to add to the gene pool it's already screwed up enough
nalia18 8
No one deserves to die so dont even joke about it. Damn why cant we just go back to the yo mama jokes and leave out the death wishes...
Stonedmanalex 0
The son was most likely trying to HUFF and didnt bother to look that shit up
ohxdamnxkay02 12
a lesson learned (:
zukinihudini 0
What a coincidence I just accidentally did this
zukinihudini 0
What a coincidence I just accidentally did this
urdirtyolduncle 15
Twice? And you're still alive?
MrSarcasm 4
As we get more advanced technologies to do our hard thinking for us, we realize we don't need to have as much knowledge or common sense thanks to all the answers being a click away. TL:DR version People are getting more retarted.
urdirtyolduncle 15
^tl;dr
rallets 23
says the man who misspelled "retarded"
rallets 23
#105 you misspelled "retarded"
Delannnnnnnnnie 0
Lol..My brother is like that:)
Xx_Nyhm_xX 0
you look like my gf lol
The_Instigator 11
You live and you learn?
CryMoreFMLs 15
With someone this stupid, it's kind of dissapointing to hear he lived.
nollid7 5
Well we know your son isn't going to college. Perhaps he's a special child, but I'd make sure to buy him a helmet for his birthday. ^_^ Just to be on the safe side lol.
Fekenator 0
You are a great parent.
TKmax 5
How can u blame the parent if the Childs a dumbass at 17
FarSide 23
He did not become a dumbass overnight. It takes years of parental cultivation, or neglect, to produce this magnitude of idiocy.
TKmax 5
However at 17 he should know better or at least be able to read the can to know u shouldn't
EffinToofer 3
Or 67, he could have had great parents and still have decided to be a moron. Some of the worst people come from the best places, and vice versa.
ohyeah_10 1
Even parents can't fix stupid sometimes...
SadinSherman 16
There is only so much a parent can do
Ravenclaw2016 6
This level of idiocy is beyond anything someone else could help.
LaLince 40
#4: I agree
mishkaroni 15
Wow...just wow.
btnhdude 0
... I-I-I know, it-it's so... Just... Just... Just totally mind blowing... Just... Wow.. Wow... Wow... Omgoodness, wow. Just wow.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
C-C-Combo B-Breaker. Wait..
KailyKii 11
He's a genius, Isn't he?
EffinToofer 3
Yeah, he is. He was just huffing and got his mom to believe he didn't know what he was doing. Smart guy!
ChrisTheCalm 9
"that's my son, he's not the brightest bulb, but he sure does smell amazing!"
nonelikeworms 0
he's a ******* GENIUS!!!!
saIty 17
He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.
oboewhore_xD 6
I accidentally downrated your comment in my early morning fumblings. Sorry. :/
ikickgingers 15
*****!!! Jkjk
ikickgingers 15
56 - sorry I'm a meanie :/
blacksswan 10
You need to go out shopping more or take your time at the isle where the deodorants are.
rmeyer6 0
he's your son not mine
TGRandom 5
I'm waiting for Maury or Jerry to pop in and say otherwise...
oSwag 0
Jeeerrry! Jeeerrry! Jeeerrry!
TheRealHouse 7
Steve is better