Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
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Top comments
The_Instigator 11
That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.
yamatelle 19
OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.
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Comments (171)
Seadizzle 0
You know you suck at sex when a Rubik's Cube steals your man.
lulzworthy 3
Don't question the rubik's cube. It takes precedence over everything.
BigOrca 2
Why the hell is he thinking of that at that point of time. I wouldn't. I would be concentrating on the situation at hand or I should say the situation in front of me.
SirWTF 10
Geeks and their toys, eh ? ^_^ I didn't think it'd be that bad, though o.O
jcortez91 8
lol wow
sangaby69 0
I would have told him to finish that later n to finish me now
shutupK 0
And that is when you take the man's head and shove it back down there until the job is done...
Hisfav1 6
At least he can figure something out....
lionlvr 9
You can't pass up a rubiks cube.
skye14 2
Oh thank god. I'm not the only one with a bf like this...