Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
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Top comments
The_Instigator 11
That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.
yamatelle 19
OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.
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Comments (171)
KeXu 6
It's all about finger tricks
Dodie__fml 2
The man has priorities
Buttsexpirate 9
Some men read books, chop wood, go fishing, etc. when they're trying to think but your boyfriend gets his from eating out. I'd say that's a gift! Give him a difficult math problem next time that's near impossible.
RedPillSucks 33
She can write "I ****** the answer to 'fermats last theorem'" right over her pubes. Tell him he has to do it 10 times in a row first.
ColCyclone 17
All he has to do is YouTube it.. I don't think you can YouTube how to get girls to ******. Maybe google..
godbear 5
its called ask jeeves, he knows all, him or chuck norris
NoNotTheFace 8
Rubik's cubes are amazing. There was once I was donating blood and I realized that I finally knew of an algorithm to solve the cube. I ran back home to fix it. Only then did I realize I had left a trail of blood behind me and some gay vampire was following me.. forgot his name though. Ed something..
fthislyfe 22
Ed something is a veggie, It was probably someone else
fthislyfe 22
BTW did he sparkle?
Pinkfoxxx 2
I love you.
yamatelle 19
He's mine, bitch! Get your own man. :D
yamatelle 19
Pinkfoxxx I was just joking. I hope you didn't take that too seriously. :)
hannahcorrine 0
It's so hard to solve one! Haha
Arivien 3
Rubik's cubes are the worst...let us know if the algorithm worked!
Cinn_fml 23
Rubik's cubes are difficult, and if that's when he has a brainwave, that's when he has a brainwave. :P However, I can imagine it's frustrating, just hope it's a one time thing and forget about it. Or, you know, wait for him to have finished with his algorithm and then get back to business.
laden_swallow09 35
I don't understand why you're being thumbed down, Cinn…?
Cinn_fml 23
I wish I really knew, laden_swallow. But I think it's because I'm "uncool" or "unfunny".
monagro 22
Smart guy, rubix cubes are really difficult to solve if you don't copy someone else's algorithm
TheSmoothDude 10
That dude needs to get his priorities straight.