Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
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Top comments
The_Instigator 11
That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.
yamatelle 19
OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.
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Comments (171)
komania 6
I find it funny how many people don't know what an algorithm is :p
perdix 31
I can help! It's was the guy who wrote "An Inconvenient Truth" lacks when he's dancing. YWIA. Toodles!
The_Troller 14
Well I've got bad news for you if he was thinking of algorithms the whole time... Today, my girlfriend was so bad in bed that I had more fun thinking about algorithms than I did having sex. FML
FlashBurn 13
It's been scientifically proven. Men can figure out a Rubik's Cube a lot more easily than figuring out a woman.
vic1226 0
maybe because they eat out more?
perdix 31
Grand Unification Theory is also easier!
fthislyfe 22
As a woman, I can't figure that out myself either. Let alone men
icic6772 0
Don't get between a man and his rubik's cube
bss36504 2
I know what he means
JumbledGirl 2
Annoying
perdix 31
Was he Asian? That's why our economy is in the toilet -- while we're wasting time eating pussy and causing orgasms (fun activities, to be sure, but of zero legal commercial value), they're solving puzzles which probably leads to more efficient productivity! We're ******, both literally and figuratively.
Zaffro 8
Finish the job at hand!! But There's a solid algorithm for solving one anyway. What a shitLAD get a rampant rabbit and sack him off.
nielzs 12
This is really funny. You can't say he isn't focused.
loserman67 36
I must ask, did he have to remove his pocket protector and black rimmed coke bottle glasses before he dove face first into your love nest? You should hve told him to keep doing the math so he could figure out the solution on how he was going to ever get into your pants again. Drop the chess-club geek and go date a football player, trust me, you'll never have to finish yourself off again...
RedPillSucks 33
The football player would most likely come first and she'll have to finish her self anyway. "I got mine. Get yours!!"
WordSmyth 2
Your name is mad appropriate right now.
TunechiXXL 0
Your name is "mad" appropriate right now too, dude...... Such a "mad" play on words......