Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
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Top comments
The_Instigator 11
That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.
yamatelle 19
OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.
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Comments (171)
RedPillSucks 33
Next time, put a rubix cube in your vag and ask him if he can solve that one.
newmandotcom 6
Your life sucks. You're dating a guy who is to dumb to solve it? Give me a scrambled cube and 13-17 seconds and I will give you a solved cube and finish up your ******
DeathBunny218 37
since when does being unable to complete a rubiks cube mean you're dumb. The fact that you compare being able to complete a rubiks cube to being intelligent makes you sound really dumb yourself
Zaffro 8
Being able to solve one has a direct link to logic and problem solving abilities. That or memory of the algorithm used to solve it in a fast time. In short yes it does relate to intelligence.
DeathBunny218 37
I'd say there is a slight relation there but not a very big one. Some people who have learning difficulties can be amazing at Rubik's Cubes whilst many people who are "genius'" can be completely thrown by them
boredfishing 0
How you doin?
ikickgingers 15
I guess I don't get it... How boring is going down on you? Or is this a guy thing? I am not privvy to the male psyche.... :/
Souperflip 2
Genuis, I say!
wickedevaa 4
I guess some people think that nerds are sexy, but I just don't get it
DruidForLife 0
That's because you're probably a ditzy blonde who has no brain cells to speak of, so you don't understand how nifty they can be.
chickenpie90 16
WTF
Zombie65 0
So.......new boyfriend in your future?
markmiller2023 0
rubiks cubes arent hard, they come with instructions to memorize...
Namenlos_fml 20
On the bright side, if he really is the one, you'll have smart children.