Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML
Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LyricaSilvan 30
Haven't you heard? Women don't have bodily functions. We aren't physically capable of being gross or imperfect.
rustybucket 24
Ignorance really is bliss. I had a male friend who truly believed that women only peed and didn't poop because "that's gross and girls can't be gross." Sorry about your moronic boyfriend!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
jessicasoho 13
He's never scene Two Girls One Cup, I assume.
Huntersmommy2197 7
am i the only girl that considers **** cheating?
cootiequeen4444 11
unfortunately, no... it's really not though.... sure, an obsession with it could prove to be a problem... and if your SO would rather watch **** than get it on with you, I could see it being an issue. but otherwise, it is basically a way to get rid of the hornies when either single or when ones SO is not around. I'd rather my guy watch **** to get off than to seek help with another living person when I'm not around. Also sometimes couples watch **** together to get ideas/spice things up. It seems really insecure to think of that as cheating tbh. If you think watching **** leads to cheating, trust me, it doesn't. **** is just basically explicit fiction.
texaskitty86 25
No you're not the only one. But you should remember that intent matters. If your guy watches **** every now and then for a bit of relief, it's not a big deal. If he watches it all the time, and declines physical intimacy with you in favor of ****, then it's up to you to decide if that is something you can live with. Personally, I've been in the second situation a couple of times. It ended one relationship when he moved from "watching ****" to "sexy chat groups with random women", and the next guy who did it realized how he'd been making me feel, and things got better. Now he's part of the first category.
theoriok 14
... But you probably read Fifty Shades, right?
texaskitty86 25
If I'm going to read ****, I'll at least find something with a good story, instead of that fanfiction drivel.
Huntersmommy2197 7
In my opinion hes getting off to other girls so to me it is.
texaskitty86 25
Then you need to make sure 100% up front that your guy understands that. Then you need to stick to it yourself as well. As the guy above was so sloppy in saying, if you don't allow your bf to watch ****, and then you watch it, or read romance novels, then you in turn could be considered to be cheating by your own rules.
OhPuhleeze 23
HOLD.THE.PRESS!!!!! WHAT??? Women poop? From their butthole? I think he would have known this if he had any common sense or had gone to school. I want to say YDI for picking up a moron for a boyfriend (I'm guessing it's because he looks hot). Another reason why it's brains over looks for me. Everytime.
Juls464 10
why do you know what **** he likes
texaskitty86 25
Could be OP knows for several reason. Many couples will watch **** together, others discuss what they like to watch, and whether or not doing the things they watch is actually something they would want. Or maybe OPs bf doesn't know fairly common things, like how to use private browsing, or that girls poop.
zealove 7
I'd point that you ain't much brighter not seeing the difference for a heterosexual guy between anal sex and guy sex. You ain't just a whole you know...?
BillyMaize21 9
DUMP. HIM.
rozdawg 13
That's not how this works...that's not how any of this works
Jonkbaby 23
DUMP. HIS. AS.!
zr11990 8
Gay sex is disgusting.
DanielleinDC 34
I couldn't help thinking of this song by a comedy-country group called Reformed ******: "Girls Poop Too." Check it out; it's hilarious. I gotta wonder if it hurts being that stupid.