Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
You've got to be kitten me right meow.
xZoeAmethystx 12
I'm so sorry. I hope there's enough time to get a new one.
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Comments (112)
Queensland 27
You've got to be kitten me right meow.
jw90 18
Haha I figured I'd see a comment like this :D
rocketiquette 20
Pardon me, but its "you've cat to be kitten me right meow"
RedPillSucks 33
pun nazi?
rocketiquette 20
67- I'm the new breed, watch out
SiJSyd 2
#39- that's a terrible pun. You just wrecked #1's great one. How does "cat" sound like "got"?
rocketiquette 20
Seems like you've lost the pun and point there, sir.
kittykat1501 31
It can be pronounced cot
mrlawlor7777 26
Meowsy McDermott is quacktastic. Thank you for this comment.
xZoeAmethystx 12
I'm so sorry. I hope there's enough time to get a new one.
Wakachulak 22
Since it's a rental flat, there's probably household insurance.
BoCo_fml 9
Renters insurance covers everything in the home, even clothing.
niallo 23
I doubt it would cover cat damage. It's normally for fire damage or theft. If cat damage counted, people would be destroying stuff all over the place.
Bibliovore 26
The insurance might not cover it, but the roommate surely should, if both the door being left open and the cats themselves were her responsibility.
BubbleGrunge 18
Who says there's rental insurance?
queerdragon 20
The roommate is liable for the coverage of anything destroyed by her pets.
ewmoldycheese 14
What a Catastrophe
Virtual_BS 13
What!? A cat ass trophy!?
RedPillSucks 33
well, I thought it was funny, but you got buried, dude.
supersitter 11
Nice one.
BauerMegan 31
That's so ******* terrible. Errrrggg cats why you do this?!
therealafroninga 10
Because cats are satan spawn. They walk the earth to fulfill his doings. Op, just get a dog, it may shit on the floor and chew the occasional shoe, but they don't have the look of sheer evil in their eyes.
IworkAt711 14
63 unless you try to take the shoe away from them. Thats the only time that my dog actually tries to hurt me.
jedrools 16
I would think about getting a new roommate one that is a bit smarter with less cats
SilencioIsTheKey 12
#5 Well she'll probably be moving in with her significant other. So.. hasta la vista.
deet124 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Animal abuse is ok as long as you have a valid reason and ******* with a wedding is good enough for me
BauerMegan 31
Animal abuse is never ok.
Queensland 27
Behold, the newest addition to the stupidest comments on FML.
SumBur 11
I just love the fact this guy gets down voted when he mentions animal abuse and people get so butt hurt, but on the post about the mother tripping the child and people joked about 'yay for hurting a child' they got all the up votes.
ZeroPath5 16
Difference is animal abuse is wrong, they teach you that stuff in kindergarten, but sometimes little kids need to get hit once in a while, especially if they're running frantically in a supermarket.
BjgUsername 12
Little kids running around being little kids deserve to face plant on tile, but a cat who ruins a wedding dress is just being a cat and therefore it's okay?
animejen1988 9
There's a difference between punishment and abuse. Punishment is absolutely okay, and I think the kid being tripped could be seen as a form of punishment to teach him/her that it's dangerous to run in public places (and annoying). If the kid was actually seriously injured, that would be a different story. Abuse, on the other hand, is NEVER okay. Unfortunately, cats aren't going to learn from punishment, but abuse isn't going to do any good either.
girlbye23 15
Yes because animals don't know any better kids do.
shakespearelove 6
You're a real idiot... There is no "valid reason" to abusing an animal. Hell, there's no valid reason to doing any form of abuse to anything. It's just completely wrong. And you, sir, are messed in the head to believe animal abuse is "acceptable" with a "valid reason".
hama806 19
Now you have to mess with that cats litter box. It's only fair. But do it outside please.
BauerMegan 31
That'll teach 'em a lesson!
Caitie_kid 8
No, now you piss all over the roommates stuff and make it look like the cats.
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
OP, you should pour Pop Rocks into the cat's litter box.
Faff 20
you definitely did not deserve this, but i'm curious: why would you share a closet that is in your bedroom with your roommate?
Queensland 27
Probably a lot of reasons, the house doesn't have 2 wardrobes, her wardrobe doesn't have doors, room mate's wardrobe was bigger for the gown.... Use your imagination!
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Maybe it's a massive wardrobe, or they share a room. I'm never sure when people say roommate whether they mean literally that they share a room, or if they just live in the same house. They seem to be used interchangeably.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Cats... Gotta love em'!
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, but I could never finish a whole one. Tastes like chicken.
life_sucks225 13
If a cat did that to my clothes. Well.. it wouldn't even be identified as a "cat" when someone finds it.
jessBeAqueen 13
somebody help me. my pussy gone mad!