Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
B0NER 2
Must have good boobies
rayrayray23 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (291)
Reddeaded 5
At least he likes something on you
hateevryone 15
umm sweetie what kind of boyfriend do you have?
mk58 31
Because that's not homicidal at all... Please don't cheat on him! I'm afraid to find out what he'll do if you try to leave him.
shelby_sevenfold 0
Texas Chainsaw Massacre much?
AgentSmith79 9
Well then what are you worried about?? Afraid you won't be able to NOT cheat on him?
daftPunKt 4
No, he might be an abusive person and try to do something if she ever tries to break up or whatever
AgentSmith79 9
That's stretching it a little don't you think? I think the part about the boobies clearly shows he was joking. Freaking relax.
daftPunKt 4
It will only get worse from here, and nobody jokes like that. Run as fast as you can. Seriously.
dubstepfreak123 0
Eh...i would have just left you but kept all of our videos and pics for "safekeeping"
azidhsu 6
Tell him boobies are made up of a lump of fats....
toricakes 7
There's ur motivation ...
h0tr0d43 2
your beautiful
omgcookeys 15
My tummy is made of lumps of fat :(
dolllee73 4
Probally should warn him that they won't feel the same after a few hrs and that he should hang sum air fresheners on the nipples if he plans to be motor boating them.