Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
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Top comments
B0NER 2
Must have good boobies
rayrayray23 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
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Comments (291)
changesinme 0
Don't we all love boobs! Boobies are simply great man...
ty1992_farmlife 12
Oookk... it's time to leave that guy. Any guy crazy enough to say is crazy enough to do it. Watch you back
xxtb0 0
now THATS true love
stangbabyxo4 7
Run my friend!
terrask 11
See now, you say your boyfriend TOLD you. Wich means after telling that he is STILL your boyfriend. I'm having a brain fart attempting to put logic in that fact...
lordEast 6
Creepy much? Good choice in men
EnterSandman_fml 20
He must have heard 'A Little Piece Of Heaven' by Avenged Sevenfold but prefers your **** to your thighs.
OhLohd111 11
You silly person, in "A Little Piece of Heaven" it was her entire bloody body that he was using. He simply needed a heater for her thighs so that he wouldn't get cold ^^
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Get out of this relationship. Now.
aguin8 0
Freaking Jeffery dahmer...
StalinsHeir 1
Pics or gtfo
KiddNYC1O 22
Your pic haha