Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
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Top comments
B0NER 2
Must have good boobies
rayrayray23 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
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Comments (291)
SkardeyKat 3
He is obviously a tit man.
Velocity98 2
That is a Jerry Springer event waiting to happen. O o O
Calen5556 0
Sounds like one of Eminem's songs
iMagzzzy 0
If you don't cheat then you have nothing to worry about?
contedefees 11
Um. That is terrifying. Maybe he has a super dark sense of humor, but that would freak me out.
ScarletBloom 14
From my homeland. Omg!
xx_Lizzy_xx 3
The question is; is your boyfriend's name Dexter Morgan or Brain Moser?
bad_chiquita 5
Damn Asian, you scary!!!
boardforlife 0
If u Cheat then I deserve it... It shouldn't be an issue for u if ur a faithful partner
THE_A_TEEN 28
Indeed, YOU do deserve it...
Blueocean7 19
I'd never accept this even if it's a joke. It's way beyond creepy, it's sick. It shows the frame of his mind. One word: LEAVE!!!
boardforlife 0
Ur comment is completely invalid because Iva said the same thing to my gf an I've been with her for almost 2 years and would never even contemplating hurting her except if she was so disrespectful that she would let another man enter her when she has me... Look at my pic do I look like a harmful person