Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
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Top comments
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
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Comments (117)
Xamry14 10
Does your last name happen to be song?
Steve95401 49
Or "Dance"?
Sillsallad 15
duuu duuuu duuuuuuu, dudududuu *intro music playing*
MasterTron 24
River Song - I see what you did #18
nekminnet 13
If she was River Song she'd have already kicked his arse
domolovesyoshi 33
Definitely
Chiara92_fml 32
I knew I'd find my Whovians here!
TheChickenLord 11
you called?
joeyl2008 29
River Song wouldn't have let him get away with that.
darkenedone 27
Came here for this.
BobbumMan 5
the Doctor approves!
thedementedlamb 4
I love a good Who reference cx I was waiting for one to roll around.
sturschaedel 27
In that case she could change it to Melody Pond. At least ponds are usually nicer to be thrown into than rivers.
idragosani 17
I was gonna say "Tam" and is your brother named Simon
Tessa_11 19
Well they're both idiots and I love your name, River!(:
Roxas_hearts 27
He really pushed you so he could attract his family, the Dicks.
fyvaprold 11
DTMFA
Tannasgh 22
What a punk. That's not what men are. Respect for women. If that had been my friend, he wouldn't be for long. Plus not helping you out and not telling his friend off is some behavior he will not outgrow soon. Do yourself a favor and move on...
pjsr 33
This isn't an FML or a YDI. This is just young people having fun. Didn't any of you ever shove somebody into a pool or stream, or get shoved into one? It's surprising, it's annoying, you can expect revenge to be exacted... but it's all in fun.
LycanGod 27
I see in the future, pretty near future he will surely be an ex
DragonDude 24
How was the reunion?
may14th 26
On the bright side, you have a beautiful name.
GhostFox 34
Time to stop dating that guy, since he obviously lets his friends direct his views on other people. And he has shit taste in friends. Ditch the ****** and his 'friend' before said friend does something without thinking that seriously hurts you.