Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
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Top comments
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
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Comments (117)
MrConcise 35
Did your more distant cousins Ocean and Oasis make it to the reunion?
BigC_from_Bama 16
If you were prepared to swim, I'd say laugh it off. I would have helped you out, regardless. The extremes of everyone being mad at everyone would have helped no one.
bettyc4 26
Disrespectful and you could have gotten hurt. There is better out there. Dump him. Hard.
elohnah 22
Wow.. Tell them both to shove stuff into some asshole, so they can be "reunited" also.
Ruskiy_Cherep 18
Kinda makes me hope his name is Richard so you know, he could also be reunited...
xRiverSongx 17
I know the feel.
nekminnet 13
The term you are looking for is ex boyfriend
ronenlior 21
Well, why don't you high five him too?...... In the face!
thatoneevilfuy 6
I love how everyone is berating the boyfriend and the friend, did anyone stop to think that maybe that's how they are and it's a thing they have pranking each other. I'm almost certain that if she got hurt they would have made sure that she was okay and apologised, stop being so uptight, friends have fun, if one of my friends pushed me in a river id laugh and push right back.
Catdragon 40
did your boyfriend break his car door later on?
SplineMan 4
Thanks for the laugh! Her boyfriend should still be her EX-boyfriend, but your comment WAS funny :D