Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
SweetSora 2
That's a confidence booster.
DocBastard 40
Those stupid moves you see in the movies never work in real life. I tried running through a meadow to Mrs. Bastard, but I ended up tripping and falling face first into cow manure. **** you, Hollywood.
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Comments (94)
TheJester12 15
Answer A: you're a hippo. Reaction knee to balls. Answer B: your boyfriend is weak. Reaction : damn't I have a scrawny ass weak boyfriend. We can't please you romantic women can we? *Sobs* why can't I be Fabio.
MikeFB3S 0
He might just be messing with you, unless you're honestly huge and he's little
naughtylez82 4
Why are men such assholes? He could have made comments in his head instead of out loud.
unknown_user5566 27
I'm guessing you took this as him calling you chubby, OP. Lighten up! If he really felt you overweight and unattractive, he most likely wouldn't be with you. I think it sounds like your boyfriend is sweet and has a sense of humor- I'd love it if my husband did something cute like that with me.
unknown_user5566 27
Oops. Felt that you are*. How did I manage to chop that sentence up so badly?
mrsquiggles6900 5
Um, even if she was bigger, I don't think guys would mind. I mean seriously? Thats ****** up if a guy judges a girl on her weight.., most guys don't like twigs anyway. More cushion for the pushin;)
perdix 31
#38, not so fast. He might find her overweight and unattractive, but has come to the reality that she is the best he can do for now. Notice that he is neither(ee) the fiancé nor the husband, so maybe he's with her until something better comes along. It's nice that you were trying to make her feel better -- too bad the world is full of douchebags like me ;)
SammyS2012 21
Don't worry perdix, if the world was only full of nice people, there would be a great imbalance. Even though the majority hate them, we need a handful of douches like you to make all of us nice people much more special ;)
jkozzy 8
Don't feel bad op, people are hard to lift. Try lifting 160 lbs and spinning it. I couldn't do it, and I work out. :)
FML_Master2133 6
You're a girl of course not.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Picking someone up like you see in a dance routine is actually difficult, even if your partner weighs 95 lbs soaking wet. The dudes you see doing this on stage are professionals who train daily, are extremely fit, have great bodies, and know exactly what they're doing. Unless your boyfriend has done the same he's going to find it at least somewhat difficult no matter what you weigh.
Ray_of_midnight 23
A lot of guys also get real macho and won't ask for help lifting something when they should. Or they won't be smart and use mechanical help to do heavy lifting (put it on a pallet and use a pallet jack, rig it to a sling and use a hoist, whatever).
lostfaithinpppl 19
A bit self-conscious and insecure, are you, OP?
mowmowlife 21
Come on OP.
LuckyLynx7732 5
I think you missed the point. At least he was able to pick you up. You should start getting worried when he can't.