Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SweetSora 2
That's a confidence booster.
DocBastard 40
Those stupid moves you see in the movies never work in real life. I tried running through a meadow to Mrs. Bastard, but I ended up tripping and falling face first into cow manure. **** you, Hollywood.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
SweetSora 2
That's a confidence booster.
flutter4 7
If he was going to count he should have counted in his head so she couldn't hear him.
doctorhook86 25
Don't forget to lift with your legs, bro! The OP is heavy-laden with insecurity.
simonsaysYDI 8
Well at least he didn't throw out his back or drop her... and at least he could do it. So... look at it the right way and it's not exactly a downer. OP just needs to realize if she was actually really heavy, he probably wouldn't try. Or he'd be on the ground writhing in pain.
JocelynKaulitz 28
No grunt?
Acaprice14 9
He would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for not counting down like space ship blast off(:
BryanThaMan 14
No, he would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids and their dog :D
teague95 16
he didn't count down, he counted up.
Unbweavable 17
I think that's the point 31
KiddNYC1O 22
27- Win. First thing I thought of when I went to reply to #2.
surrounded_fml 6
It's always nice to talk yourself through doing difficult tasks
Vero2410 0
Lol
iliketurdles 7
That's what I was thinking. Maybe her boyfriend is weak.
poppysoda 4
I'd say it's time for you both to hit the gym.
Roskosity 22
That's what I call bad romance.
Dixbfloppin 11
That's what I call a guy whose back couldn't support the weight of another person so he struggled to pick her up.
djxerxes9000 18
Some one call Lady Gaga.
Zachthejoker 10
He probably had back problems. Happens all the time
ebfbruh 0
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg! Same pic
Zachthejoker 10
This is a glorious moment xD
SkoomaKi 28
It's all down to a final decision now. Either you could lose a few pounds (or stone) or he could pile on some extra muscle(s). After that, you'll be held up for longer. Confidence will be built up and all will be well.
llamafish 25
There's this really effective new weight loss strategy! It removes any unnecessary weight from your body. First, you have a doctor remove your arms, then your legs, and in extreme cases the head. I tried it and I've never looked better ;)
ebfbruh 0
At 36, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ! Perfect
theslimshadylp 6
Total mood kill hahaha
duckyeah 6
Haha riiight..
tennisrapper1 14
I think you're right 4, but it also seems as if he's got a sense of humor. If a person were to lift a heavier object, he or she may just grunt, or exhale. But, maybe he was trying to be funny by adding that little statement. :)
DocBastard 40
Those stupid moves you see in the movies never work in real life. I tried running through a meadow to Mrs. Bastard, but I ended up tripping and falling face first into cow manure. **** you, Hollywood.
TrueTriage 16
Same with random musical numbers.. You'd think friends could read your mind for instantaneous perfect sync and lyrics... But Nooo everyone stares awkwardly
BrysGirl27 14
Hahahah you guys made my day:)
twinkiefeets 17
Are you really 16 and married!!!
Bonzer 2
Doc is not 16, he has two children. Yes, I am a stalker, any more questions?
DocBastard 40
Bonzer - twinkiefeets was referring to BrysGirl27, who apparently is 16 and married.
BrysGirl27 14
Yes I am haha:) shocking but true. Well just had a birthday so now I'm 17 and married:) haha
simonsaysYDI 8
Best of luck to you BrysGirl! And that isn't in any sarcastic or negative way ^__^. Gotta love the old couples who were high school sweethearts.
BrysGirl27 14
Awwwwwwww well thank you:)! Very much:)
BrysGirl27 14
Thats exactly what happened. Thanks for clarifying that up ass