Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
SweetSora 2
That's a confidence booster.
DocBastard 40
Those stupid moves you see in the movies never work in real life. I tried running through a meadow to Mrs. Bastard, but I ended up tripping and falling face first into cow manure. **** you, Hollywood.
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Comments (94)
xxooxx210 3
He shouldn't have counted like that... It ruined the romantic part!!!
aliciacleopatra_fml_fml 8
its the thought that counts!(:
kat_elizabeth_ 0
Still cute though hahah
SciFiFanatic 3
Hey! It's not necessarily a bad thing! :) I mean, even a really skinny, 120 lbs girl, could be difficult to lift for some guys. Or he was just preparing himself not to drop you. Either way, doesn't mean you're fat. :)
simonsaysYDI 8
50 - Off topic but your bottom paragraph reminded me of myself when I worked at FedEx for 6 months. Being a girl and.. 5'2", I couldn't lift the heavier things easily, but I didn't want to be the one person who always needed help. I'd spend 10min moving an 80lb package and then be exhausted. Wish I would have asked for help at least a few times because then I was too tired to load the smaller packages at a decent speed. Though for anyone in need of a job who wants a nice workout and a friendly environment and a decent opportunity for good hours, FedEx was lovely for that :).
mercsl65 7
if you're fat you're fat. hes still there so he must not mind. don't make him be someone other than himself around certain issues, such as your weight. he didn't call you fat, he simply made fun of the fact hes trying to free a beached whale.
Sarkisa54 5
Maybe he just doesn't have upper body strength? Who said its because of you? :) don't be insecure.
FML_Master2133 6
You're an ass I don't think he was being mean... This is not an FML.
MDTeddy 13
Where is the fml in this?
Ihaveasoul2 13
Well he's inconsiderate.