Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
SweetSora 2
That's a confidence booster.
DocBastard 40
Those stupid moves you see in the movies never work in real life. I tried running through a meadow to Mrs. Bastard, but I ended up tripping and falling face first into cow manure. **** you, Hollywood.
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Comments (94)
Jeffo193 13
Boy, Dirty Dancing woulda sucked had that happened...
Rowdey 10
Or if it didn't..
downtime 13
Except in Dirty Dancing she runs up and jumps, reducing the amount of lifting the male character had to do. The difficult part was sustaining the height. ...Not that it even matters, I just felt like pointing it out.
Bluekaren16 19
I tried to do that dirty dancing move on this guy. He couldn't do it and he can bench press 400 pounds. I'm about 128 pounds. Maybe its because I didn't jump high enough? Fantasy ruined.
greenie213 23
At least he didn't drop you. No wait! That would be much funnier.
aj98 2
You must have a weak bf
jideare 3
Or she's just magnificent in mass!?
StaminPrimer 0
"Well, you could lose a bit of weight too, you bastard" would have been the proper response
Vero2410 0
I would tell him to go get my lunch or something and sign the papers for her birth certificate while he is gone. You don't need his signature because you guys are married.
42istheanswer 27
Wrong FML, buddy
deransc 19
U R A dumbass
perdix 31
Check him for a hernia! It's fun if he doesn't have one -- it's gross if he does.
redbluegreen 41
Those lousy chahoongas, they should be pulling their own weight!
corleon198425 22
He neeeds to lift some weights. A small woman can hurt some people
sougstad 7
Sounds like your bf needs to re check his man card, that is of course unless u out weigh him
Rowdey 10
Sounds like you should re-check your grammar card.
sougstad 7
I'm not writing a novel fool, nor am I competing in a short story competition therefore I will write how ever the hell I want? Feel me?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Why is there a question mark? I DOUBT THAT YOU HAVE GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL, SIR.
sougstad 7
Proving a point douche bag! I'll say and write what I want ?? You nazi,? Foolish: nothing better to do/ ignoramus!!!?,!!!!!
Drigr 9
I'm siding with 4. Let's assume a woman to be about 5'5" and 120 pounds (that seems about average, maybe even light). If you're an average guy you're not gonna go around lifting 120 pounds like its nothing, no matter how its packaged, be it a woman, or a pallet of bricks or steel. I work in machining, so I move heavy masses of steel on a regular basis (150+ pounds sometimes), so lifting a girl isn't really a big deal to me anymore, but a year ago, I would be like the BF in this FML, though maybe less vocal.