Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
Just tell her she's so beautiful she makes you weak in the knees.
Welshite 40
I tie on a cape and try to fly like superman. That doesn't work either.
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Comments (139)
Welshite 40
I tie on a cape and try to fly like superman. That doesn't work either.
Ambient25 25
I try to clench my fists and go Super Saiyan like Goku....it usually doesn't work except I get to yell a lot.
rg350dx 29
Usually doesn't work?? Are you telling me you can go super saiyan?!
depocadoll 15
Do you even lift, bro? Jk I hope you both are okay.
feelingold 18
Did you also stick her head in a ceiling fan OP?
Ambient25 25
Lol #30, ARMY= Aren't Really Men Yet
Nekogami 14
So ... A super sperm. Interesting. Be sure to wrap before you tap. :P
hugozac88 22
OP is the weakest link
PunsY0 5
I like to jump out of trees with an umbrella and pretend I'm Mary Poppins
Ambient25 25
I like to dance with penguins and pretend I'm Dick Van Dyke
droidlover 14
Lift weights.
garrett1999o3 16
At times, I like to shake trees around when a cat's up on it and pretend I'm Mr. Incredible
jenjen0146 7
How are you going to sit there and try to make fun of men and women who serve their country? The bravest thing you've probably ever done is count your 2 pubes. Any soldier has my respect and thanks! You should learn how to respect them too. It's because of brave service men and women past, present and future that you have the RIGHT to disrespectfully spout utter BS from your mouth and fingertips! #41 you kind of disgust me and you honestly need to learn to respect the people who protect you and your loved ones!
Ambient25 25
Are you ******* kidding me?? You didn't even happen to notice my profile pic. I'm sorry my username is not referencing my service.I'm in the military as well in case you hadn't noticed. Navy and Army always joke against each other, just as #30 referenced me as a "Super Seaman", which "Seaman" is the term for all sailors. Seriously WTF is wrong with you...
Ambient25 25
unless of course you think the Army is the only military branch out there, then I have quite a few Marine, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard buddies I'd like you to meet...
Axipiter 24
What a coincidence, after reading 88's comment, my IQ dropped by that number of points...
Ambient25 25
Seriously...It's the most "facepalm" moment I've ever had. I get it she may not have liked my Army joke, but to say what she did....my hand went through my face.....
Wizardo 34
#93, that burrito went straight through my bowels as well, her comment was ridiculous smh.
Axipiter 24
I didn't even smh, I ended up full on punching myself in the face. Excuse me while I tend to my nosebleed...
BrotherPhil 35
Whoah, Lady. Take a chill pill.
jenjen0146 7
No sorry i did not click on your profile to look at you. i was wrong on that so to you i apologize an also thank you for your service. its kind of hard to see what you were wearing in your picture and the other pic was really obvious. i thank you for your service too. i just get really offended when i think someone has belittled a service man or woman and have much respect for what you all do. thank you for bringing my error to my attention. to the other commenter: I'm sure your iq was already pretty low. Mistakes happen. Im also sure if he hadn't back you wouldn't have noticed either and would've given a thumbs up because you would've thought the same thing I did. Stuff happens so stop trying to be a d*ck. I was mistaken and I admit that and apologize to him for it. Forgive me for thinking somebody was disrespecting a person serving their country as a rude joke rather than a harmless joke between service branches.
queerdragon 20
Jen, even if you did not click his picture, he is a big boy he could defend himself if he had a problem with being called a "Super Seaman."
Axipiter 24
111, no, it was pretty obvious he's a swabbie :) And I'm sure my IQ was pretty high before your blathering, thank you very much.
baref00tmama 15
Until you learn how to capitalize and punctuate, you're not qualified to remark on the I.Q. of anyone.
Jeffo193 13
If that happened in twilight i might actually watch it.
charrmaander 10
Robert actually tore his bum muscle doing that lol
cuddly_scorpion 4
Has it occurred to anyone else that this girl is underweight?
thatonegirlnic 10
Just because romance is dead doesn't mean you literally try to die for it.
bamagrl410 31
Seriously. First hitting her head on the ceiling fan, and now this.
Daevas 18
Romance will never die, don't kill people's dreams...
DGED13 5
do you only weigh 90 pounds as well?
Jjimen1654 9
Sounds like op need to gain some muscle!
rg350dx 29
Just tell her she's so beautiful she makes you weak in the knees.
Welshite 40
He'll have to start wearing a blindfold when he's around her for his safety.
mb2_native 15
5, that would be a good save haha
thebaddayblues 3
This guy is good. I like this guy so far. Stay classy.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
That's the greatest save I've ever heard, I'm nearly crying.
_GoodGuy 11
Love hurts
rg350dx 29
Have you tried using more lube?
Wizardo 34
Or use a different hole you filthy mcnasty.
1deep4life 11
A for effort, F for failure
syley 5
B for better yourself, C for correcting what you did wrong, D for diligence!
superalubba 13
Maybe you should go to the gym?
Pleonasm 36
I used to be romantic like you, but then I took a dislocation in the knee.
XxXCrissyXxX 12
Oh gosh, i laughed a little harder than i should have XD I love this comment :D
Raluxa 21
SKYYYRIIMMM
Fluffydemise 18
90lbs huh? I bet you made her feel like she weighs 200lbs!