Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
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Top comments
ericBZ 0
in n out! my wood is of high quality.
JMWHS 0
some guys are just hairy. and for those saying he should shave or wax: no. guys aren't supposed to shave or wax their legs.
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Comments (88)
HiccupAstrid 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Shave dude! That is nasty!
phillyboss25 0
why u so hairy?
SillyEars 0
time for a nice 'ol man wax.
Ms_Jessie22 8
Well if they're not super painful, just leave them because they will come out on their own.
Jessi_Rose96 0
He's Italian. To go with international stereotypes- Italians are always hairy.
xNataku 0
Uh, gross..
Xxprincipessa 0
haha #14 I'm Italian... and you are correct.. we are hairy human beings lol. and #12 yes I just mean to shave or wax for this period of time so he could get the splinters out :)
persianality 0
Italian stallion and I be hairy and proud :p
degrassilovur 0
uhm... shave ?
XxDevilxXGt 26
well that sucks but dont shave your legs or anything...men dont shave legs lol.hmm this could be dirty also "right before i put it in, i rested my "wood" on my leg" lmao xD
MrSassypants 34
that would hurt if u were shaving and a splinter go farther or cut off the tip so u cant grab it
piinkbunnii 1
Agreed with #24, shaving probably would cut the tip of the splinter. Therefore leaving the man, with shaved legs, and still have a ton of. splinters! Nair it. Maybe that will work!!!
iluvmorgan1991 0
been there man. I've got really hairy legs as well and it's not easy getting slivers out. haha. you will forget about them tho.
Claay_aiir 0
Time to get out the old razoorr!! :$
NzxtZ06 0
and you call yourself a woman. you should be ashamed
PYLrulz 17
#23 - some do... like professional wrestlers, bicyclists...
ericownz101 0
u shoulda hired some mexicans to do it... they'll be all gone from arizona soon enough lol. btw no attacks on me, i'm mexican too :P
hoiychoiynoiyy 0
cut off your leg?
Asstazztic 8
No ranvw you are not gonna get laid
hetalia_thailand 20
I have a friend who's Italian and she was embarrassed to wear her ballet clothes because the hair on her legs poked through the tiny holes in the fabric and made it look like she had really pale hairy ghost legs.
Xxprincipessa 0
haha this is pretty self explanatory... either wax or shave that shit! :P
puggfuggly 0
WTF that's gross if he waxed or shaved his leg he might as well cut of his balls.
VoodooGypsy 2
what is wrong with a man having hair on his legs? o.O
fualignment 0
swimmers shave their legs
pajamurao 0
maybe if he waxes, the splinters will cone out. lol
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
5: Not if he removes the hair from only that general area. How does a bald spot on your legs = not a real man?
ericBZ 0
in n out! my wood is of high quality.
JMWHS 0
some guys are just hairy. and for those saying he should shave or wax: no. guys aren't supposed to shave or wax their legs.
FweakofCydonia 40
Screw gender norms. He can shaves if he desires :D Plus, how else is he gonna find the splinters?
Shawnie Gallant 24
It won’t matter if he shaves. He can shave if he wants, as can other guys. It’ll help him find the splinters.
Prue_fml 0
lol omg ew haha
xgetxbentx 13
9 - I think they just mean for him to shave so he can get out the splinters, not shave all the time. Op - shave or trim that area and get them out, even if they would come out on their own leaving them in would probably lead to infection.
Mr_Zachary 0
really... did this person go, "oh noes i have splinters, i better go post an fml immediately!" like his life is ruined. what the ****, people. i demand a higher standard for future fmls, right meow!
Mr_Zachary 0
how do i get moderated when i didn't even break the rules? yeah i read them.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
You sure you got modded? There's a comment bug that eats and rearranges random comments.
JxM1994 0
Psssh don't be a wuss..put some duct tape over the general area and rip ''em all out. Then you don't hafta worry about people calling you out about shaving lol PROBLEM SOLVED :)
nuklear7 0
i'd use nair in that spot to get rid of hair, and go splinter hunting. those can lead to infections that you don't want.
silverwolve 0
lol... "right before i put it in" giggity!