Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML
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Top comments
thisgirl2u 9
How exciting!! Hey it takes baby steps to make it anywhere. :) But on a side note, how on earth did you think he was ready to invite you in when you two don't yet feel comfortable enough to pass gas in one another's presence??
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today my boyfriend is comfortable with himself around me. FML" You fart too, OP. Unless you're a robot. If you don't fart, you'll spontaneously combust into a fireball of fart fire.
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Comments (126)
AnneFTW 17
Time to dump him or else become his mother.
sipher16 0
finally!!! people that are rational about things.
carathemermaid 3
That's reasonable.
abbeymcnally 0
So you don't fart in his presence? Some relationship.
pytel93 0
haha awesome!!
ersa1802 0
What? You guys don't do that?.. haha
Judus_beej 0
tell him as long as you can queef in front of him.
bouncykiddo 0
I think that's cute... I remember when my bf talked to me about that lol
CrazedMango6 0
yep! that's how you know you're most comfortable with your significant other. it's the ultimate comfort zone. haha.
Psychotic_Snail 0
hes getting comfy around you, no big deal o.O
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Am I the only one who finds it oddly prudish for a guy to hold it in, or worse, pretend he didn't silently fart when he obviously did? I had a bf who'd crack the car window during winter to "hide" a fart, even after I called him on it, laughed, and said I DGAF. It wasn't exactly inconspicuous.