Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML
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Top comments
thisgirl2u 9
How exciting!! Hey it takes baby steps to make it anywhere. :) But on a side note, how on earth did you think he was ready to invite you in when you two don't yet feel comfortable enough to pass gas in one another's presence??
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today my boyfriend is comfortable with himself around me. FML" You fart too, OP. Unless you're a robot. If you don't fart, you'll spontaneously combust into a fireball of fart fire.
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Comments (126)
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today my boyfriend is comfortable with himself around me. FML" You fart too, OP. Unless you're a robot. If you don't fart, you'll spontaneously combust into a fireball of fart fire.
thezaincan 0
agreed. also..moving in after 6 months??? back the **** up. -_-
hardrock137 6
South Park :D
bubber 0
The rule is a man may not fart in front of a woman until he has made her climax at least twice. If he holds her head unter the covers for the purpose of flatulence entertainment then she is officially his girlfriend.
22cute 17
And a man is officially a boyfriend when he's comfortable having "medicinal sex" e.g sex while menstruating...for the cramp reducing effects of those lovely prostiglandins.
Iskaria 0
Prostaglandins cause period pain/cramps - they don't relieve it... it's the same thing that causes labour contractions :)
easwhitey 0
Agreed #18. Glad to see another male knows the rules of relationships.
BlissfulBurnz 0
Op, run now! The next step in the relationship is gonna be going the bathroom with the door open... :S
apcfan009 0
what's wrong with that?
BlissfulBurnz 0
Nothin, I'm just dramatizing the situation at hand. :)
McMan 23
Wow just realized I spelt grammar with an "e", I fail.
thisgirl2u 9
Not to be cruel.. but you do realize it is "grammar" not "grammer" right? Maybe I'm just missing the sarcasm.
skyeyez9 25
When I was dating my bf (now husband) I think he started farting around me within the first week we met. He was holding it in for half the day and was like "I can't hold it anymore." and let it out. It was the LOUDEST fart I ever heard.
LDP2 0
Hahah! my husband did the same thing when we started dating. Nothing wrong with it! farting is just a bodily function.
allmidnighteyes 11
...At least you can be glad that he didn't rub your belly, saying, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed" on your first date.
ScaryyMary 14
I hate it when that happens :[
McMan 23
Already corrected myself but let's keep that between you and I and go with your idea of thinking it was meant for sarcasm :P
Driftz 3
I can't think of anything to say.
ShadyFTW1 0
Your pic says it all