Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML

Dumbest Ultimatum Ever

Today, my boyfriend told me I had to get rid of my cats, or he would leave. He punched a hole in my wall when I told him I chose the cats. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

Thanks wasn't given

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML

It's pronounced Renesmée

Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML