Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Yes, keep the puns coming, folks. At this rate, we might be able to influence the Google search results of people looking for ****. Just think of how confused and disappointed they'll be.
Calingaladha 21
He's just feline sorry for himself...
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Comments (49)
LARC_UoGuelph 9
You got pussy magnetism. He doesn't.
hekinokuroihi 20
Pussy whipped:(
Calingaladha 21
He's just feline sorry for himself...
TMO2142 25
BEST PUN I HAVE EVER SEEN
sirdannyboy1 20
tell him to stop being a pussy
Tripartita 45
Yes, keep the puns coming, folks. At this rate, we might be able to influence the Google search results of people looking for ****. Just think of how confused and disappointed they'll be.
krazy789 28
i approve this message
vOIDmASS 13
Down vote, down vote, and oh hey, look, down vote!
PackardBell_fml 19
Why are you counting your comment's downvotes?
Bunnyluver 20
I guess they want to see how many done votes they can receive, if best comment is off the table.
hkhan24 23
Insert? Pussy? You're just asking for pussy puns handing out material like that, you can't expect people to not use such comedy gold.
vOIDmASS 13
Take it easy on him, his dad may have just died.
pandaxpress 19
How in the world did you come to that conclusion? the only thing OP's BF is going through is jealousy.
Tripartita 45
It's an allusion to the FML below, #11.
Bunnyluver 20
I think you make an excellent point, but maybe a bit too specific about the dad part.
potatocouch 16
Such a shame, the pussy puns are starting to become like the shitty situation puns.
Lalala579121 28
What a shitty situation that is.
Ellie Rogers 9
I wouldn't take it too personally. Usually, when someone gets irrationally angry over something it's because something a lot bigger is bothering them. Kindly let him know that it wasn't right to snap at you and ask if there is something else eating at him.