Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML
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Top comments
_Skies 0
Thinking about them Twinkies again eh?
swirlsofhoney 0
hey vending machine food is good just not that good...
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Comments (227)
mattiscool 0
lol. oh and btw first :)
Zer0de 0
Double post my bad.
megashroom 6
This kid's a noob fag.
ronton 4
fat!!!
duke_nukem_25299 0
fake and gay
NoahStaz 3
Whats your problem Douchèbag
RobinKCS 9
What does OP mean?
Vociferouslife 4
I don't think this is FML worthy. Honestly, there are many foods that release the same endorphins many would receive from light sexual activity. I think this could have been a LOT weirder. As is, I hope you continue to have those awesome dreams!
Link5794 18
Odorless Poison
iBiteRoses 22
That was awesome.
swirlsofhoney 0
hey vending machine food is good just not that good...
iLucid 0
Freegasm...
i_love_germany 0
more like foodgasm
mangoboy1 19
I guess she just has a food fetish
omglyktotally78 0
Similar to the FML about a guy having a sexual dream about bacon.....please come up with something more original
TurtleGenius 0
Did it taste good?
_Skies 0
Thinking about them Twinkies again eh?
mybabaygirl 0
Your hot. Js
cooldude95 0
And I thought I dreamt about weird things. I'm joking, but FYL. Hope no one saw?
Zer0de 0
God Dang it! FML messed up my post.
NoneOfTheAbove 0
Well if it tasted good whats the shame?
fkcyl 0
#4 so true. Whats up with guys touching themselves. thats what hookers are for..
loludeserveit 0
I guess you AND #4 failed to notice the pink female symbol, huh?
DragonDude 24
...Dammit, misread the comment and here's an edited, useless comment. Let's play a game of how many thumb downs it can get.