Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I was working at the theater as an usher. A man came up to me and gave me his ticket. At the same time, he took a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
asiancosmo 7
trifling ho
xxmuzicfreakxx 5
Well if he was a good boyfriend, he would've told her to shut up and watch the movie.
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Comments (173)
asiancosmo 7
trifling ho
beccaishereyay 11
Haha smart bitch.
torrance1221 4
how exactly does someone flirt at the movies? you're supposed to be quiet so I don't get it
ClassyCommando 13
Something similar happened to me, a guy stole my girlfriend in a movie theatre by using a Jedi mind trick on her. I guess I wouldn't have wanted that weak-minded bitch anyway...
br0dawg 6
haha 22 you serious brah? it's not like a golden rule to not talk in a theater, it's just courtesy. that doesn't stop all the loud douchebags from goofin around, or your pestering relative to keep asking what's happening in the next scene, though...
ironman108 0
Ur an idiot go play with some marbles in the freeway and stop waisting fresh air!
AmongstTheFaces 5
I wonder if the movie was hunger games.
jackal181 7
So someone is grossing you out by sneezing and then you just make your boyfriend suffer through it? If it bothers you that much then move far away from her (both of you). If you can't, watch the movie at another time or just deal with it, cause well, people sneeze.
amandajlucas2015 2
Was he flirting back.. If not then that's a good sign if he was then he doesn't deserve u anyways
ifeelcheated 0
25- u should post that as a fml
ladyLALAA 29
1, perfect first comment/picture too funny!
inkdeath87 18
That girl is a bitch, you should have slapped her!
lpaz 14
Flirting doesn't always have to be verbal. Simple stroking his arm is one way to do it
cuttz911 3
That was her plan all along!!
amypatel21 2
Really??? I had no idea....
Bball_boy15 3
Thats some selfish shit for what you did.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
That girl was probably just allergic to the OP
Wicked361 8
You don't say?
Livviegurl99 11
well no shit sherlock
gators1995 30
Your comments are funny
iliketurdles 7
She's the devil.
ClassyCommando 13
Beware the She-Devil, for she is the harbinger of doom. Indeed, she will kill her sister to possess her sister's boyfriend. Shun her and drive her away, back to her jungle lair, for she will make a desert of her house and yours.
Notime4bull 4
28- Planet of the trifling hoes?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Something tells me that You went through this before, Commando. How should we kill the She-devil?
ClassyCommando 13
With McDonald's, brother. That shit will kill anything.
dwcomposer 4
Someone's allergic to competition!
Redoxx_fml 22
Nah she's just a sleaze with a sneeze
teejayx7 0
I see what you did there.
MedKits 9
Yes, teejay. We all ******* saw what he did there.
RoseCrystal 17
Looks like you're gonna have to choke a bitch.
Icecream93 4
Thats quite smart actually
hiitisbrooke 28
How much you want to bet it was The Hunger Games? (:
xxmuzicfreakxx 5
Well if he was a good boyfriend, he would've told her to shut up and watch the movie.
Dilwann 27
If she was a good girlfriend, she wouldn't have made her boyfriend suffer because she had a bad spot. Seriously. It's either you being annoyed or your boyfriend, and you happened to have a bad seat. Get over it.
gators1995 30
Agree
NeDaroft 5
Would yah look at that !
eyecon502 13
Now that is crafty, I must say. Were you wearing too much perfume? So...was she cute?
rocker_chick105 31
it doesn't matter how much perfume she was wearing because it was fake all along. It was an attempt to get to OP's boyfriend.
TheDrifter 24
Or op bathed in perfume and the girl would have been hitting on her man all along if she could breathe.
FrankHotpants 31
Sorry OP, Bitches be crazy
gooduck 6
What is OP?
sqeakyclean 7
Oblong Poop
Daiyuki 5
Overgrown Pterodactyl
gc327072 31
What they keep saying in gangnam style.